This may come as a surprise to some of you, but here at Flappr we, every now and then. . . write about female human breasts. We never intend to write about boobs in an exploitative fashion - no, our brand of investigative journalism is more research based. We consider bosoms, we analyze bosoms, we celebrate bosoms.
In doing so, it became necessary to find ways to describe these dense dairy dumplings. We believed it to be gauche and uncouth to refer to mammaries as "boobies" or other similar, common, analogues.
No, no, that's not our style.
In furtherance of this effort, we looked for ways to capture the essence of how enamored we are with these essential elegant weasel-easels. Our solution? When possible, we come up with unique descriptors for each set of pillowy pleasure pontoons that grace the pages of our website. Sometimes the term is weight or girth-related, like fair-sized feeders. Sometimes the term aligns to a subject's place of origin, like Copenhagen Casabas. Sometimes, the term describes a characteristic about the person, like Leninist lactaters.
Well, over the three-plus years of running this website, we've come up with several alternative words for boobs, breasts and bosoms - enough terms for us to assemble this Glossary of Glands for your use and enjoyment.
Why say "look at those big tits" when you can say "look at those Bewitching Button-Busters?"
Some things are worth celebrating. Some things are worth the extra effort.
Without further ado, please enjoy Flappr's Manual of Glossary of Glands.
AOC Gazongas
Areola’d Automaton
Artificial Albertan Aoogahs
Bantam Weight Buttercups
BFTs (Big Fake Tits)
Big Boobie Blitzkrieg
Blouse Bunny Brett
Bodacious Bolt-Ons
Bodacious Shoulder Boulders of Boulder, Colorado
"AOC was a Marxist midwit from Queens, but she had bountiful Bolshevik Bazoombas, so she ascended quickly in politics."
Butterface-Bazongas
Calcium Congas
Certified-Organic-Sweater-Stretchers
Chitty-Titty Chin-Bangers
Crime Fighting Femme Fatale with Fabulous Fun Bags
Dairy-Endowed Debutant
Daunting Dairy Doozies
Dense Dairy Dumplings
Ebullient Edmontonian Eye-Gougers
Elder Earmuffs
Elizabethan Era Erector Perfectors
Essential Elegant Weasel-Easels
Evansville Eye-Gougers
Exuberant Edmontonian Erector Perfectors
Fecund Funbags from Ze Fatherland
"Paige Spiranac was a proud patriotic woman who proudly showcased her Frolicking Funbags of Freedom"
Gallon-sized Glands
Gigantic West German Germknödels
Gorgeous Greenhorn Globes
Grade-A Nippopotamous
Gritty Grinder with Gorgeous Glands
Grand Canyons
Hallowed Heavies in Hollywood
Heart Pounding Hindenburgs
Horse-Faced Howitzers
Humble Honeydew Headrests
Kollossal Kraut Kugels
Lauren's Large Luscious Liberty Bells
Lilliputian Lactoids
Lovely Lot of Luscious Legal Lactators
Mace's Mountain Dews
Machiavellian Milk Fountain Maneuver
"Nippopotamus Nancy worked with Democrats to unseat the Speaker of the House in a move many have called the 'Machiavellian Milk Fountain Maneuver.'
MAGA Milk Wagons
Massive Montezuma Maracas
Massive Mulatto Milkers
Massively Milker'd Mesoamerican
Mexican Moo Moos
Milker'd-Marxist-Movie-Maven
Monster Mashing Mummy Milkers
"Cleopatra was kind of bitchy, but nobody cared because she had great mouthwatering Monster Mashing Mummy Milkers."
Norse-Nippled-NumNums
Panentheistic Pani Puris
Pendulous Paleolithic Pleasure Palloncinos
Pendulous Pudding Pillows
"Many people argue that Abby Shapiro should've won Flappr's 2021 Milker of the Year Award, but she was pregnant and her Curvaceous Conservative Cantaloupes were fueled with performance enhancing pregnancy hormones (or PEDoubleDs, if you will). So, that wouldn't have been fair."
Perky-Paraguayan-Paddler
Prodigious Pleasure Ploughs
Prodigious Pop Star Pontoons
Pygmy Peepers
RINO-Rod-Raisers
Sacrilegious Sandbags
Seductive Silicone Squashes
Siamese Sundress Seducers
Sportscasting Cantaloupes
Sweater-Stretching Star of the Silver Screen
Switch-Hitting Senator from Sedona
Tantalizing Thick-er-Teaters
Tantalizing Tig Ol Bitties
"Sydney's Tantalizing Tig Ol' Bitties made her the talk of Tinsel Town and earned her honorable mention in Flappr's 2023 Milkers of the Year award!"
Tempting Twin-Powered Trollops
Titillating Tabernacles
Top-Heavy-Temptress
Traffic-Moving Mammaries
Tremendous Set of Tuscaloosa Torpedoes
Wanton Tongue-Waggers
Wondering Wizarding Watermelons
Yucatan Yowzers
"Get a load of the Yucatan Yowzers on Salma Hayek"
Doing great work here. I will do my best to use these on a daily basis.
Honestly, this is what College level English Lit classes should be.
Excellent
Does this guy have a job or does he just stare at dictionaries and boobs all day?