AOC's BOOTY Is Clearly Latinx - Butt Is It Big or Juicy? An Investigative Report

Late last night, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-Booty) dropped a video onto Twitter showing a man (king-level internet troll, Alex Stein) following her up the steps of Congress and feigning excitement at the opportunity to meet his "favorite Big Booty Latina". Check it out for yourself:

I'm inferring here, but I think the aim of Stein's gag here was to highlight the hypocrisy of AOC and her recent support of protestors who demonstrated outside of Morton's Steakhouse while Brett Kavanaugh dined there last week.

In support of those protesting Kavanaugh, AOC tweeted (because that's like basically all she does):

"Poor guy. He left before his soufflé because he decided half the country should risk death if they have an ectopic pregnancy within the wrong state lines. It’s all very unfair to him. The least they could do is let him eat cake"

Assuming Stein's stunt was intended to provoke AOC into throwing a complete shit fit over his ribald comments and exemplify her rank hypocrisy - he succeeded. Talking to reporters earlier today, Ocasio-Cortez told reporters: “The normalization of this event and this dismissiveness, is dangerous. It’s not just about me. It’s about every person.” Yeah, she doesn't seem to understand that her experience yesterday falls within the standard of public harassment that she's helped set for others. Either that or she just doesn't care that she's a walking double-standard.

Anyways, moving on. . . I have two critiques of Mr. Stein's approach here: 1) he could've achieved the same goal without resorting to "big booty Latina" barbs, which was (hot take) a little creepy; and 2) he was grossly inaccurate with his description of AOC's derriere.

After confirming the first part of Stein's claim - that the "big booty" belonged to a Latina (accurate), I tasked my crack-research team at the Flappr Institute of Anatomical Research to determine the thiccness of AOC's Commie Caboose.

After hours of research, scouring some of the darkest parts of the internet, and utilizing highly sophisticated computer forensic analysis, we are sad to report that AOC's Bolshevik backside is not, in fact, big:

AOC Booty

This investigative report is not intended to detract from AOC's physical appearance in any way. She's an attractive woman and, as this blog has previously documented, the NY Congresswoman's Marxist Milkers are among the best in politics.

Butt (pun intended) words matter and all available evidence suggest that Ms. Ocasio-Cortez's pinko stinko is more precisely described as tight, toned, or if you wanted to be negative, kind of flat.

More importantly, on principle, I do not recommend nor condone the harassment of women or public figures, even if you think AOC's booty is juicy, even if you think they might deserve a taste of what they've supported online.

It's a terrible standard and one that will lead us down a path we may not be able to return from.

So, I guess - yeah, Stein's stunt was kind of funny (due more to her overreaction than the comments themselves) and it gave us all something to talk about. . . but I hope this doesn't lead to more, ever-escalating, insanity.

Let's all try and chill the fuck out.

As always, we strive for accuracy and will update this story in the event new evidence arises.

Happy Thursday and God Bless America.