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Serious Matters & Unfolding Trends!
A Quick Word!
There were a few stories this week that piqued my interest and I felt like flexing my writing talents . . . so, I'm here and about to drop 5,000 words on a woman fucking her dog, Paige Spiranac losing her dog, Democrats acting like dogs and whatever else finds its way into this stupid blog.
No promises that this isn't more than a one off, but maybe . . . now onto the blog.
Jeff Bezos won the Oscars.
Winning the 97th Academy Awards was not a difficult task. Nobody saw any of the movies nominated, except for Dune 2 and Wicked. I only watched part of the broadcast and it was filled with the same preachy bullshit that has become customary with such award shows. WE GET IT! You are fucking gay, you hate Trump, and you want the world to know how gay and anti-Trump you are. BORRRRING. I think Anora won best picture. I know my friend @wesleykushner loved this film and enjoys how its writer/director, Sean Baker, is secretly based.
Baker may have won the awards, but Bezos won the evening, perhaps even the whole week. On the Wednesday before, Jeff (or Jefe as I assume his Latina GF calls him) took a massive dump on libtards who work at the Washington Post when he sent his employees an e-mail explaining to them that WaPo's opinion page was going to follow new standards. This made journos VERY angry, because Bezos now expected an American newspaper to write "in support and defense of two pillars: personal liberties and free markets." GAHHHHHHH! HOW TERRIBLE! WHY IS HE NOT ALLOWING HIS PAPER TO CONTINUE TO PUBLISH OPINIONS FILTERED THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO WHILE LOSING $77 MILLION A YEAR! THIS IS FASCISM! HE'S BOWING TO TRUMP!
But Bezos didn't flinch. He threw on a tux, went to the Oscars with Lauren Sanchez (and her Siamese Silos of Saline Superiority) and then crashed the Vanity Fair after party, where he socialized with 2024 Milkers of the Year Award Champion, Sydney Sweeney, Sofia Vergar and Jessica Alba. I know Bezos is still a lizard person, but he's currently the best of the lizard race. The fact that he dunked on journos and then hung with Sydney and Sofia (two women I've written about EXTENSIVELY) genuinely makes me wonder if he reads this blog. Like, maybe Flappr radicalized him?
Maybe he read my rantings about the evils of journalists and the magnificence of Milkers and decided . . . yeah, you know what . . . I like big boobs, I hate Marxism and I don't want that communist shit published in my paper!
MAYBE, just MAYBE, Flappr inspired Jeff Bezos to divorce his wife, find a Latina with Large Luscious Lecheros and become a right of center Chud. Perhaps I need to continue writing this blog to help influence others and save The West?
Hmph. Much to consider here.
Sydney Sweeney is not mid.
You didn't think I was going to bring back the blog without writing about Sydney, did you? In fact, Sydney is probably the biggest reason why I decided to crack my knuckles and clack the keys this week. Look at her. She's a true Hollywood star.
Seeing Sydney return to the big stage, walking the red carpet, strutting after her 2024 Milkers of the Year title, brought me back to that weekend last December when homosexuals (both latent and otherwise) called her "mid" on X. It was disgusting, or as one personal called it, "my personal 9/11". I wouldn't go that far, but it was an attack on our freedom from the oppression of the CommunASSts and it prompted me to re-up this LENGTHY defense of our Milker Queen.
You should go read that, it was good and there is a lot of wisdom in what I said. That's all for this segment. Sydney looked amazing at the Oscars. She's back in the spotlight, looking to retain her crown. She's not mid. Go read that other blog I wrote, you fucking ingrates!
This lady (allegedly) fucked her dog.
"An Oklahoma woman accused of engaging in sexual acts with her dog openly admitted to lusting after her pet, according to cops."
This goes without saying . . . but ladies , , , don't fuck your dog!
WHY? WHY? Why are some of you fucking dogs? How does someone fall so low that they resort to fucking a dog? Was she so stupid that she took the term doggy-style too literally?! Have relations between the sexes gotten so bad that women feel compelled to fuck dogs? Ladies, , , I promise you that while all men may be dogs, they are still better partners for you than literal dogs.
How do you even punish someone this fucked up? Do you hit this woman with a rolled-up newspaper? Do you blow a high-pitched whistle to make her stop? Do you . . . rub her nose in it? I'm not sure if any of these things would work!?! She might just get off on it!
This psycho wasn't even ashamed of her bestial pursuits! She (allegedly) filmed herself fucking the dog! That's how the cops found out - they saw her dog fucking videos! And when asked by police if she had been fucking her Great Dane, at first she said no but then stated "I can't say an interest hadn't been there". JEEEEZUS.
Look, I don't want to seen aiding and abetting (alleged) dog fuckers on this blog, but she needed to come up with a better excuse than "no, but my dog is HOTTT". WHAT SHE SHOULD'VE SAID WAS: "Look, officers, you're not going to believe this, but my boyfriend was recently placed under a Freaky Friday curse by an old Cherokee witch (it being Oklahoma and all). That dog over there is actually my boyfriend, trapped in our dog's body, and my dog is actually that guy outside squatting down and taking a dump on my front lawn. So, the video you watched of me banging my dog, is actually me banging my boyfriend!"
The police would've been incredibly confused, but probably would've also been like "that story is so crazy, she probably is telling the truth". Maybe it buys her a couple of weeks while the police investigate. Who knows?!? Sheesh.
This is ruff story! It's almost too far-fetched to believe! Doesn't she know (allegedly) fucking a dog poses Great Dane-gers?! I'm trying to stay paws-itive, but this (alleged) dog fucker is rePUGnant.
Ok, I'll stop, but don't fuck your dogs, ok?
This lady waxes her ex-husband's new wife.
"A mom is best friends with her ex-husband’s new wife and says they are so close they help each other wax."
To me, waxing your ex-husband's new wife's vagina is the female equivalent of being a cuckold. I'm happy this family found a way to remain close despite a divorce, but there should be limits, you know? Like, yeah, you can still get together for holidays. You can even sit together during little league games. Maybe you all even share a meal on an occasional weekend . . .
. . . . but waxing the new wife's vag? That's some cuck shit.
Thanks for manicuring my vagina so that your ex-husband doesn't get pubies stuck on his tongue while performing cunnilingus on me! He tells me that my fertile crescent is much more preferable to him than yours was! Can you take a little more off the side? Your ex-husband (and my current husband) really likes the aesthetic of lightning bolt look we've been going with! He says it's fun to look at during missionary! Thanks, hun!
This isn't difficult, folks. All you have to do is barely tolerate your ex-spouse's new love interest, while hating them and coyly shitting on them to the kids in private.
You know, like normal, well-adjusted adults behave.
The Daily Mail published this photo of Nancy Mace's Big Boobs.
Not cool, Daily Mail. We stand with Congresswoman Mace.
News! News! News!
Trump's pseudo-State of the Union speech was GOOD!
So much has happened since I've last written this blog that it's impossible for me to capture my thoughts in less than 10,000 words. I'll try and summarize. Essentially, I believe that we're in the midst of a domestic and global realignment that's been long overdue. I hate governance by executive order, but given the times we're in, I have been enthusiastically in favor of nearly everything Trump has done thus far (except for the tariffs, ehhh). We need to deport illegals. We need to unleash American energy. We need to eradicate DEI from public life. We need to locate and eliminate bureaucratic bloat. We need to dismantle the progressive/Marxist patronage system installed by previous regimes that funded far-left activism at home and abroad. We need to return the country to the people.
In short, Trump 2.0 has been better than my wildest dreams, thus far. I've been getting what I voted for - that's a good thing (but enough of the "I'm a king"). Whether or not all of these changes find their way into becoming law is the looming question too few seem to care about. I do, but even if they don't, Trump, Musk & DOGE have already done serious damage to the libtard infrastructure and injected government waste and bureaucratic tyranny into the discourse in a way I never thought possible.
Good on them for that.
With respect to Trump's "State of the Union" address on Tuesday (which technically was not a State of the Union address, because it followed a long-standing tradition where newly inaugurated presidents deliver an address to a joint session of Congress early in their term) . . . I thought it was pretty good. Sure, he rambled a bit, he repeated himself a couple of times and he almost certainly exaggerated a few statistics, but that's Trump. I know that by now and, more importantly, people who don't obsessively follow politics know this by now.
There were high points too, like when he adeptly pointed out how "the media and our friends in the Democrat party kept saying, 'We needed new legislation! We must have new legislation to secure the border.' But it turns out all we needed was a new president." For my money, this was Trump's best line of the night. The tone, the timing, the bite was all A+
What's more, he is right - border crossings have plummeted since Trump took office, down about 97% in February from where they were in December of 2023. It would seem that "refugees" are no longer being persecuted quite so harshly now that we have a president who is simply enforcing existing laws. FUNNY THAT!
Another high point for me was when Trump announced that DJ Daniels - a 13-year-old who's battled brain cancer - would be named as an honorary member of the secret service. Young Mister Daniels apparently wants to work in law enforcement when he grows up, so the Trump admin invited him to the speech and helped make a dream come true. The scene that followed was fully saturated wholesome.
I'm a sucker for stuff like this. I love it. Cannot get enough. If the State of the Union was replaced by an hour of the president just giving people honors and cool shit, I think most Americans would sign up for that in a heartbeat.
My Final Trump Speech Grade: B
The Libtards made Trump's good speech into a MEMORABLE one.
The Democrats are flailing. They don't know how to stop the bleeding from the first six weeks of Trump 2.0. They are attempting to run back tactics from their Obama era Theater Kid Playbook™ - virtue signaling, cosplaying, calling everyone Nazis and other illogical appeals to emotion - but they're not working.
We're a different country now. We elected Donald Trump. We elected him despite the lawfare that made him technically a felon. We elected him despite a decade of hearing the many ways he's like Hitler, literally Hitler, or literally SUPER Hitler on steroids. We didn't just elect him, we elected him with a popular majority and with 89% of counties trending Republican. Sorry, Libtards, you lost and now your performative RESISTANCE™ just looks sad and gay.
Take Al Green, for example:
He waved his cane and shouted, "You don't have a mandate." at Trump during his speech and all he got for his efforts was removal by the Sergeant at Arms. Did he think this was some MLK like act of defiance? Nobody could hear him! He didn't even have the balls to go full limp fish and force a spectacle where the capitol police had to drag his lifeless body out of the chamber! MLK? More like MLGAY!
The biggest takeaway from the whole episode was YET ANOTHER awesome JD Vance meme template!
Then you have the dressing in pink, cuz strong women or something. Been there, done that. BORING. Same with the holding of signs! You clowns ALREADY DID THAT LIKE A YEAR AGO! And the sitting, the stupid fucking sitting just made them look like petulant retards. Sure, it doesn't hurt to sit while Trump rambles on about THE GULF OF AMERICA or stealing Greenland. But these retards also refused to clap for a boy who beat cancer, a young man heading to West Point, several mothers who lost her children, the wife and daughters of Corey Comperatore, a man who was freed from Russian prison and news that we captured the terrorist responsible for the Abbey Gate attack! They just say there and acted like THESE WERE BAD THINGS! Nicole Wallace went on TV afterwards and said she hopes that the little black cancer kid never kills himself!
This is what losing a narrative battle looks like.
This was a retarded strategy. Americans like WINNING and we like to CELEBRATE good news. Sitting like old cunts made the Democrats look like . . . well, old cunts. Need Proof? According to a CBS poll of Americans, 74% of people say Trump's speech made them feel "hopeful" and "proud" with most speech viewers describing Trump as "presidential, "inspiring," and more "unifying" than "divisive." Meanwhile, a CNN poll found that 80% of Americans thought Al Green's cane waving escapade was "inappropriate".
For the first time in my adult life, the Dems are NOT in control of messaging. They're flailing, rudderless, pathetic and it's beautiful to watch.
My Final Trump Speech Grade With Democrat Retard Multiplier: A-
Go read my friends at The Other McCain for their Trump speech recap:
"We’re only 43 days into Trump’s second term, and we don’t know what the future holds, but there can be no denying that he now has strong momentum, and the Democrats don’t know how to cope."
Sounds like they agree with me!
Getting High on X
Fuck Jarvis.
Tiffany Gomas follows us and loves us. She doesn't follow Jarvis (fuck him).
ForestMommy, an extremely attractive, skinny woman, wants you to think she has saddle bags (she doesn't), but she said that, because woman.
Krissy thinks Zelenskyy is a foot guy.
Amos had a funny dunk on bizarre looking Rep. Al Green.
Likewise, Toad had a funny one on INXS frontman, Rep. Rosa DeLauro.
Kristin showed off her Serbian squat (10/10 form).
Dimitri celebrated the death of Joseph Stalin.
IzaBoo appears to have washed her pussy in the sink.
Vanessa is a pervert.
Sarah wants to bring back public hangings (very spicy!).
WriteGirl is correct about this soulless "man cave".
Siraj Hashmi has died (RIPIP).
Happy Friday, Fam. Cloth Off.
Sports! Sports! Sports!
Random Sports Things . . . .
Since I am not going to be writing every week (for now), I don't think talking about specific sports stories makes much sense. Instead, I'm going to write short thoughts about random things that have happened since my last SM&UT Blog.
On Hockey: The Four Nations Tournament was awesome. Fuck Canada. I hate Canada. I liked watching the Tkachuks hit Canadians. I am sad that we lost to Canada. People are not watching Hockey this season. That is bad. GO WATCH HOCKEY, YOU FOOLS!
On Basketball: The NBA is very gay. LeBron is very gay. That Luka Doncic trade was VERY gay. I hope that gay Luka Doncic trade doesn't wind up giving LeBron an extra NBA title because he's gay and not as good as Jordan.
On Baseball: Opening Day is March 18th. But lib nerds ruined baseball, so . . .
On Football: The Super Bowl was lame. Very boring. Black guy rapper half-time show was like watching someone with aphasia try and explain astrophysics. NOT GOOD. The game sucked too. The Commanders traded for Deebo Samuel. Awful move, that dude is cooked. Gayden Daniels is gay and mid and is about to have a terrible season (fuck you, Carl). The Packers are trash franchise and their fans gay communists (fuck you, Wisconsin). The Bears had added offensive line help via two trades, including FOUR-TIME SUPER BOWL CHAMPION, JOE THUNEY, EVER HEARD OF HIM? Caleb Williams is set to have a VERY HETEROSEXUAL sophomore campaign and THE BEARS are going to win the NFC. What could go wrong.
And that was Random Sports Thoughts for March 2025. Moving on . . .
Paige Spiranac's dog, Niko, has passed away.
The GOAT eGirl Sports Influencer announced the passing of Niko on March 3rd by posting a photo of her adorable pooch along with this message: "I loved you for your whole life and I’ll miss you for the rest of mine." Moving words from a titan of her generation and as someone who recently lost his beloved Dumb Farm Boy, I understand the pain Paige is going through. Losing a dog sucks. It's a helpless feeling. It's never easy. It's always miserable.
Thankfully for Paige, she had support from countless fans who poured in comments, offering prayers and kind words, like one guy, who said: "I'm sorry Paige, I know how much it hurts. Dogs are family." And this woman who said "We just lost a beloved pup a couple of months ago. The pain is real." And this other person who wrote: "So sorry for your loss. All dogs go to heaven".
They're all correct. People in this country love dogs. People love dogs so much that they even take a break from being gross on the internet when one dies. As hard as I tried, I could not locate a single "hey show us your big tits" comment in Paige's replies. Same goes for uncouth references to "doggy style". All of the comments in her replies were positive, shared kind words or tried to ease her grief.
That's almost unheard of on social media. Good job, internet. I'm proud of you.
Unfortunately, I am not happy with Outkick Sports who did not cover this story on their website. What the fuck, Joe Kinsey? Why are you slacking? (Also, if you're reading this, let's talk about collaborating. Flappr should be published by Outkick). You jokers give away "Paige Spiranac of <insert sport>" titles like they're USAID grants for trans comic books in Botswana, but can't be bothered to cover the story of the passing of her dog? For shame!
Here, I'll do it for you. Niko was the Paige Spiranac of Dogs. There you go. Rest in peace, good boy. Your journey has ended but will never be forgotten.
BSO: Volleyball Star Kayla Simmons Flaunts Sideboobs In A Tiny Swimsuit and Drives Social Media Crazy
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (for journalistic purposes):
Upon review of the photo this headline is based on, we can see that it features Flappr's Gritty Grinder with Gorgeous Glands, Kayla Simmons. Moreover, Simmons does appear to be wearing a revealing swimsuit, which can certainly be characterized as "tiny". Likewise, Kayla elected to press her pendulous pontoons against her chest for this photo, a pose which "flaunts sideboob". But did this photo "drive social media crazy"? For that, we'll need to check the comments.
First up, we have Christ enthusiast, george.bell.710, who replied "Holy moly Jesus wept a river 🔥🔥🔥🔥". Blasphemous, but he got his point across.
Meanwhile, the man whose name is so nice he stated it twice, bobbybraswell3879bobbybraswell, commented "I think what you need, Kayla, is some exposure. 😁" which, I'm guessing is just an odd way of Bobby saying he wants to see her naked?
And finally, robert.l.miller.549 posted "I thought I thought I thought I saw a booby I did I did. I did see a booby. Hope all is well. Good night." Good grief, what a fucking creepy thing to post on the internet.
Based on all available evidence, I think we can say that, yes, Kayla Simmons' sideboob flaunting tiny bikini DID "drive social media crazy".
This was a literal BSO headline. Well done, gents!
Also, holy shit, she does look amazing in those photos. Glad to see her back on the grind, making elite content and representing the Milker Movement and milker related causes professionally and with grace.
Meme of the Week (or Whatever)!
This week's top meme honor goes to memeing legend, @midnightmitch for his meme that helped capture the essence of the JD Vance baby face meme craze. If you've been on Twitter the past two weeks, it has been impossible to miss. It's just photos of Vance, except he has an extremely infantile face with very, very, chubby cheeks. The format of the memes typically features Chubby Cheeked Vance in some pop culture setting and are paired with baby-talk captions. Here are some examples:
Earlier this week, someone who shall remain nameless (Sarah) asked me to explain the meme to her (because woman). The best way I can contextualize this new meta is that it's kind of a throwback meme - one that's just very visually funny. Vance has a baby face and giving him very chubby cheeks is very funny. It's also a great platform to make pop culture references that millennials enjoy. A funny visual that provides freedom to make other funny jokes.
That's it - it's just old school dumb fun.
This dynamic has confounded libtards, who think that this meme is meant to be an insult to the Vice President. At least three separate stories have been written about this meme that completely misunderstand the context. They don't seem to understand that the majority of these memes were made by some of the most HARDCORE Right Wingers on the internet, all of whom love JD Vance. These memes aren't an insult, they are a recognition of Vance's rise to prominence in right wing spaces. Vance dunks on dullards like Margaret Brennan. He scolds EuroTrash in Germany for their censorship. He embodies AMERICA FIRST in that showdown with Zelenskyy.
Vance is an exemplar for millennial right wingers and they're showering him with praise in the best way they know how. Ironic memes that make him look like a fucking baby with very pinchable cheeks. That's love.
I reached out to @midnightmitch for comment on this week's win and here's what he shared with me for publication:
So true, King. So true. (He did steal the meme).
I also asked @magills_ for a comment, but not because he won anything, but he assumed that he did, so here is what he shared with me.
Funny, but also kinda sad because he didn't win this week and he's not being honored. This was just kind of a way to troll him. He fell for it.
No Context Random Term for Boobs
