We've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of very important news!
We will deliver T.I.T.S. (coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe to our blog)!
Very Important News!
Hilary Duff: dominated Twitter with her mommy thiccness.
People are finally realizing what Flappr shared with you months ago - Hilary Erhard Duff is a 36-year-old MILF currently at the peak of her powers.
It's rare that a single photo can own Twitter for a day, but this photo of Duff's Derrière was everywhere on Monday. The Daily Loud's tweet (above) currently has 36 MILLION views (with 231K likes). She0nhead tweeted about it. Flappr tweeted about it (for journalistic purposes). Known degenerate, Assliken, tweeted about it.
We are glad that people are finally ready to embrace the fact that Hilary Duff is mom, who balances marriage, kids and a career while still looking drop dead gorgeous. She does appear to be one of the only child stars who grew up to be a fairly well adjusted human being.
She currently stars in How I Met Your Father, which I have not watched outside of a few . . . interesting clips posted to social media. Enjoy.
We are big fans of Ms. Duff and openly celebrate her continued hot-mom exploits.
Moving on . . .
Fox News: 'Baywatch' star Donna D'Errico reveals top OnlyFans request: ultimate 'girlfriend experience'
According to her exclusive interview with Fox Digital, Flappr favorite, Donna D'Errico, received some interesting requests since she started an OnlyFans account last year: "[y]ou know, in the beginning, I got a lot of, or some requests, for feet."
That face is the face of 99% of the world when they encounter feet guys. It actually pains me to think that our Daring Dairy Endowed Debutant had to endure feet guy requests . . . such degenerates. Looking at you, dudes named Kevin!
D'Errico went on to say that these days, the most common request she receives is men who: ". . . want to see me, like in everyday life, just the real me and everyday life. Maybe wearing a T-shirt, making coffee or, you know, just that kind of thing."
That's actually kind of wholesome, but also reveals the underlying motivation behind most of the men who pay for OnlyFans content - they're lonely. We do have a loneliness epidemic in the country and it seems that men are fulfilling it in ways that are both predictable and destructive. Money and effort that could be spent on self-improvement is being spent on short-term dopamine hits. This is not good, though I'm not sure how we can fix it outside of just continuing to encourage each other to be bold, brave and not settle for imitation affection.
Keep your heads up, fellas. You can do this.
**Editor's Note** Fox News published this article. Fox News, not Flappr.net. Remember that the next time you're ready to pull the trigger on a tweet that slanderously refers to Flappr as a "sm*t blog".
This is going to be a hot take for which you have permission to drag me in the comments below, but I don't mind if a woman wears these panties?!
I mean, for every day comfort - I don't care what type of underwear a woman wears. It does not affect me at all. I think there are certain occasions (birthday, anniversary, vacation, for a fancy dinner at Olive Garden) where throwing on a pair of sexy drawers is desirable and should be considered by a woman (come on, ladies, , , endless breadsticks!) But a random Wednesday? I could not care less, wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Plus, if you wear granny panties - it's a great opportunity to tease your significant other while their getting dressed/undressed. "Whoa, you're going with the full orthopedic look today? Are you also going to wear a girdle? Where are your podiatrist approved shoes? What will you do for me later if I buy you a bag of Werther's Originals? Will you take your dentures out for me during coitus?"
Maybe I would feel differently I was a single man, but alas I am not a single man (married to a woman who does not wear granny panties, for what that's worth).
Daily Star: Model 'offered $1m for sex' dubbed 'delicious' as she gets 'buns' out for racy breakfast
Listen, sweetheart, I am happy that you got offered a million bucks for sex and you are, undoubtedly, beautiful . . . but I can't deal with this sexy kitchen dance this morning. Don't you think this a little much for 8 a.m. on a Tuesday? I don't have time for such gyrations. I've got to go to work. There are bills to pay!
Yes, yes, you look gorgeous and your coquettishness is cute and all, but I really do need to get to work and . . . you're blocking the fridge. I just want to make some toast, drink some coffee and get my ass in the car so I'm not late for a meeting.
And yes, I see your pubic region, it looks very smooth. Brazilian waxed, I presume? It's great, but can you pull up your sweatpants? We have big bay windows and my neighbor is literally an 80 year old orthodox jew. I don't want to have to explain to him why some random woman is performing gynecological exam on herself in my kitchen. I don't want or need that drama.
Oh, and please get your ass off the kitchen table. I have a few guesses where that crotch has been and - my kids eat their Eggos on that table, for fucks sake.
Look, folksss, much like the 'World's Hottest Lawyer' I'm sure she's very good at her job. And I would like to know how earns the title of 'World's Hottest Doctor', because if there is a committee that hands out these titles I think I am overqualified for nominating and adjudicating the winners, but I digress.
Do I want my surgeon to be preoccupied with thirst posting on Instagram the night before she performs my triple bypass (or, heavens forbid, my vasectomy)? In my opinion, I would have to say no, I would probably be more comfortable with the 'World's Most Competent Doctor, Who Is Really Hot, But Dresses Conservatively Because She Takes Her Work Seriously'.
I don't think this is too much to ask.
Daily Star: ‘World’s hottest traffic warden’ starts selling sexy snaps and they've already been leaked
'World's Hottest Traffic Warden'? That seems particularly specific. I don't think I can remember what a single traffic cop looks like, let alone anoint one to be the 'World's Sexiest' within the profession. . . let's see if this woman is, indeed, the 'World's Hottest Traffic Warden':
Yeah, that's probably the 'World's Hottest Traffic Warden'.
And look, folks, I'm sure she's very good at her job! But do I really want the 'World's Hottest Traffic Warden' writing me a ticket for parking illegally while I pick up Chipotle for lunch? Well, in this case, yeah, I do want the 'World's Hottest Traffic Warden' writing me that ticket. It would improve the experience.
Ok, seriously, what the fuck? Who is handing out these titles? They're everywhere now! How do I get in on this racket? Is it an illuminati thing? Cuz, if this is an illuminati thing, I'll take one for the team and become an illuminati guy! Call me, Klaus Schwab! Call me, Bill Gates! I won't tell anyone what goes on at the Bohemian Grove, I promise! I just want to hand out 'World's Hottest' titles!
As an asside (intentional misspelling for comedic purposes), what do you think of that traffic-policing-posterior, Al Pacino from Heat?
Yeah, I think we all could've guess that one, Al Pacino from Heat. It's a nice one, for sure, Al Pacino from Heat, but I that rear end has a little too much junk in its trunk for my particular preferences.
Oh well, to each their own.
Important News!
John Kerry: may have (allegedly) ripped a fart on stage during COP28.
John Kerry was speaking during the COP Climate Conference in Duabi (lol). While on stage, while Kerry is giving remarks, a loud, audible, fart-like sound is audible around the :24 second mark of this video. Watch:
Seconds later, the woman to Kerry's right viscerally reacts to something. Perhaps it was the sound of a fart? Perhaps it was the stench of a rectal emission? Perhaps it was in response to the power of Kerry's words? Perhaps she was the farter and was attempting to mask her shame with disgust? Perhaps it there was no fart at all.
The only people who know for sure are the ones sitting on that stage. We provide with you the facts, you reach your own conclusions. That's journalism, folks.
Jeez, that sounds bad.
Maybe we shouldn't have allowed (at least) 3.8 MILLION 'migrants' into the country since Biden took office in 2021.
I'm sure we've vetted all of these 'migrants' from countries like China, Iran, Afghanistan, Yemen, Iraq, Pakistan and Jordan, among others. I'm sure we've tracked all of them and that they're all here to help strengthen American prosperity. I'm sure that they will all show up for their asylum court dates, 10 years from now. I'm also certain that if and when a judge determines that these 'migrants' do not qualify for asylum, that these good folks will leave the country voluntarily.
As transcribed by the MRC:
JAYAPAL: And I think that rape is horrific. Sexual assault is horrific. I think that it happens in war situations. Terrorist organizations like Hamas obviously are using these as tools. However, I think we have to be balanced about bringing in the outrages against Palestinians.
To Jayapal's credit she did condemn 'what Hamas has done', but we live in an era where nuance and grace has been eviscerated (by people like Jayapal) - so none will be afforded to her by me. Moreover, some eagle-eyed Twitter users noticed selective Jayapal's 'balancing of outrage' can be, depending on one's politics:
And Kavanaugh's accuser could not prove that she ever met him, could not remember the place where events took place and couldn't find anyone to corroborate her story (in fact, most disputed it)! Weird how that works. . .
Charles C.W. Cooke | National Review: Biden the Liar
The one in which Charlie Cooke takes Biden and the media to task for the brazen lies both have spun to the American people.
Economists from both parties “largely dispute” the claim because it’s preposterous nonsense. Biden “liked the idea and quickly approved it” because he’s an unprincipled demagogue who spends the small amount of time in which he is capable of working contriving fresh ways of convincing voters that they should not trust what is in front of their eyes. One half-wonders why Biden’s lies are so pedestrian. Having decided to escape the truth, he might as well have spiced it up a little and blamed the persistence of high prices on a colony of evil, invisible inflation-elves who live in the cold-water pipes in America’s largest factories.
The whole piece is (unsurprisingly) quite good and I suggest you give it a read.
The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday; Mr. Hockey Stick Says the Quiet Part Out Loud About Population Control Agenda; and Lesbian Teacher Sentenced to Prison for Sexually Molesting Two Teenage Girls
The one in which Robert Stacey McCain shares with you a story you will never hear on the mainstream media:
So here you have a story about a lesbian teacher who molested two girls over a span of 10 years. In at least one case, the molestation began when the victim was just in middle school. This is rather heinous, and the LGBTQ Publicity Agents at the Lexington Herald-Leader therefore hit upon the clever idea of omitting the gender of the victims, so that readers would have no idea that the case involved homosexual behavior.
Many such cases.
Animal Magnetism: Animal's Daily Christmas Deconstruction News
The one in which Animal shares with you news of how Christmas is both 'discriminatory' and 'colonialist':
The Canadian Human Rights Commission, which is funded by the federal government, said that the public celebration of major Christian festivals is rooted in religious intolerance.
“Discrimination against religious minorities in Canada is grounded in Canada’s history of colonialism,” the group said. “An obvious example is statutory holidays in Canada.”
Blah, blah, blah, Canada. I wish an early Merry Christmas to you and yours.
David Thompson: Adhesive Not Included
The one in which David shares with you the art of Wooing And Titillation, The Transgender Way, where women pretending to be men seek advice from Reddit on their chosen . . . prosthetics:
a “Latinx genderfluid personal trainer” and a “trans 2Spirit DEI consultant,” pronouns “they/he/she” – opted for a “seven-inch in a tan colour.” With additional adhesive.
If you're a woman pretending to be a man, I would've thought you'd go with something bigger than seven-inches?! I mean, seven-inches is a totally perfect size, I'll have you know! Some might even say it's too big! Oh well. . . to each their own.
Important Sports News!
Trevor Lawrence: has a high ankle sprain; the Jags are probably fucked.
Somehow, Trevor Lawrence left that car crash with only a high ankle sprain. According to visor-hat enthusiast (and Jags Head Coach), Doug Pederson, Lawrence is going to try and play this weekend?
I think that's very unlikely and if he does end up missing time, the Jags might be fucked?! They are only a game ahead of the Texans and their next three weeks are against the Browns, Ravens and Bucs - no easy games, even with Lawrence slinging the rock. So. . . the Texans could end up winning the AFC South?!
That would be something.
Brock Purdy: is Flappr's official 'All-American Boy'.
Mr. Irrelevant. Third string quarterback. Thrust into action last year. Takes his team to the NFC Title Game, only to suffer an injury on the first drive of the game!
Less than a year later, this man returned to the scene of his season ending tragedy and shit pumped the Eagles on a nationally televised game. The questions have been answered - Brock Purdy is good. Real fucking good! And he's leading the best team in football back to the promised land.
He has a great story. He's awesome at football. He's got boyish good looks. He's a Christian, who proposed to his sundress wearing fiancé on the edge of a pier (she said yes). Brock Purdy is the all-American boy and he's received our official endorsement (which is something we do now).
Jerry Thornton | Barstool Sports: The Family of the Chiefs Kid Who Got Smeared by Deadspin Has Lawyered Up and is Threatening to Sue
As a follow up to last week, it would appear that the Armentas family is actively exploring their legal options. Good for them.
Apparently, Ms. Mikinski is a track and field athlete at the University of Arizona (Go Wildcats!). I'm not sure why Outkick decided to highlight Ms. Mikinski in particular, but we are glad that they did. She appears to be a vice nice young lady and is already finding making a name for herself in the high jump where, according to Outkick, she finished 15th in the Pac-12 last year.
That's pretty good! Congrats, Paris! We look forward to following your career on Instagram and TikTok.
This is good journalism, folks. Lots of information you didn't know before. Very important sports news.
Moving on . . .
Hmmm . . . I somewhat, kind of, agree with Kristin here? I mean, I don't think it's a good idea to sleep with dudes on the first date (sorry fellas), but as most thing in life - it dependent on the situation. Did you meet at a bar or have you been chatting online for months? Does the guy have a stated interested in a long term relationship or did he ask you for nudes before you even met?
Context matters here, folks! And while I would almost always recommend waiting before taking the pubic plunge, I would not always say it's bad judgement.
All that being said, Flappr is a Jay Cutler blog and Cutty got Flappr in the divorce, so fuck Kristin Cavallari and we agree with whomever is dunking on her!
Please, Mr. Cutler, run for President. Your country needs you now more than ever!
Apparently, Rachel Stuhlmann, 'the world’s No. 1 tennis influencer — as named by the Outkick Culture Department' got into a car crash not long ago and recently underwent surgery to replace a disc in her neck with an artificial one.
Ouch, that sucks. Here's hoping that Rachel finds herself on the road to recovery very soon. She seems like a very nice young lady.
Editor's Note: for purposes of accuracy, Outkick, which has previously referred to Ms. Stuhlmann as 'the Paige Spiranac of Tennis' but did not do so here. Given the nature of Ms. Stuhlmann's injuries, this would've been one time where we would've afforded Outkick leeway to utilize an otherwise inappropriate level of prestige. We are not monsters. Notwithstanding this fact, we do concur that 'The World’s No. 1 Tennis Influencer' is a more appropriate title for Rachel Stuhlmann.
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (journalism purposes):
BSO Headline Literalness Rating: yep, that's Paige Spiranac in a 'pink bodysuit', she is 'practicing her tee shot' and this video did go viral on Instagram (123K likes).
This is a literal BSO headline.
I'll be honest, this is not your typical BSO literal headline segment. Usually I choose headlines like 'Watch UFC Girl Brittney Palmer Flaunt Massive Cleavage And Curves In Tiny Black Bra And Thong', but I just wanted to find a way to squeeze Paige in this blog. So I went with a much tamer headline from the kings over at BSO.
That's honesty, folkssss.
Very Important Meme of the Week
This meme from @drefanzor is ackshully from last week, but I had already published the blog by the time I found it on Twitter. It's so good that I felt compelled to honor its genius a week later.
This is a rare example of a meme that got an actual laugh out loud in real life, rather than just a chuckle and an 'lol' on the internet. It's just funny, nostalgic and well executed. What can I say, I am a sucker for M.C. Elon memes.
10/10, please go follow @drefanzor if you haven't already.
Some Flappr Blogs
While you're here, why not go subscribe to our YouTube Channel and enjoy some of our fine videos:
Have a great weekend, kings.
John Kerry distinguishes himself once again.
The Jags are f*cked. Lawerence isn’t playing. That tennis player 🤌🏼
A++
Man, I love the high jump now. Who knew?