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Very Important News!
Rihanna is wrong for this. She should not be exposing her Dominican Dumper in the middle of a 'busy NYC street'. That was an act of public indecency. This is not acceptable behavior for anyone. People should not behave this way.
And don't start hurling accusations my way, this is NOT a race thing. I may not enjoy her music or appreciate her culture, her politics, or what she represents, but I do like Rihanna generally. And while I'm not an ass-man by reputation, I am not diametrically opposed to a Caribbean Caboose per se - especially not one of RiRi's density and shape.
No, my protest is specific to the act of intentional and purposeful public nudity. It has no place in civil society (outside of wholesome, somewhat intoxicated, flashing that may only take place at sporting events). We cannot maintain our dignity as a people if our children cannot walk down the street without having to come upon the Santo Domingo Badonkadonk of a 9-time Grammy Award-winning songstress.
When you are in public, you are subject to the terms of our shared social contract, and Section 455 thereof clearly states: "A party shall not intentionally expose its black thong underwear while on a public thruway unless at Mardi Gras or a debaucherous location of the same or similar nature." So, keep your skirt down in public. This isn't a music video. The streets are not for peep shows.
Get it together, RiRi. She does look very pretty, though. Happy for her that she's feeling confident post having a baby last summer.
When I say that accidental public nudity is the only acceptable form of public nudity - a mom going ass over tea kettle at 'kids sports day' is what I am talking about. This video is not Rihanna intentionally flashing her butt on a public street in broad daylight. No, this video is just good fun! Look at her go! She's chugging along and then WOMP - face down, ass up, giving the gallery at Worcestershire Sauce Elementary a lesson in human anatomy. THAT is the spice of life that reminds us that the human condition is chaotic and beautiful!
You don't want a mum to start twerking at center court during a pep rally (which has happened) - that would be uncouth and disgusting. But accidentally seeing your classmate's mom's black thong at kid's sports day? That's something where everyone can have a laugh! In fact, according to the article, they're still talking about this incident two years later!
Katie, the mom owner of the black-thonged bottom, says that despite the video of her bum being seen by millions, she was never embarrassed - and has no regrets. The mum of two says that, unsurprisingly, men from all over the world message, compliment her bum, and ask her out on dates. "[T]he video went viral - it actually gave me a massive confidence boost," she says. You see? That's the power of accidental public nudity.
So, the lessons to be learned here are that: a) exposing yourself in public can boost your confidence; b) it's only acceptable if it happens accidentally (no thottery); and c) if it does happen, the best course of action is to roll with the punches and laugh it off, because shit happens.
I once played hockey with this kid who loved manipulating his genitalia to look like various objects - like a hamburger - and would then show them to everyone in the locker room. He got a real kick out of that - said he was mimicking something he learned from these Australian degenerates who called themselves "Puppetry of the Penis" and made penis contortionism into some type of body art. Testicles and penises are disgusting. This is an unfortunate thing to remember.
This experience makes me wonder . . . is securing objects under one's Pendulous Pudding Pillows a similar dynamic for women? Is this some type of garish party trick you gals play on one another when you're feeling cheeky and garish? Because I must admit that, despite my pronounced adoration for female human breasts, this is a pretty gross thing to watch.
Ladies, , , do not do such things! This is not funny! This is not cute! This act violates laws of nature (probably) and is an affront to your creator! Bosoms were not made for carnival tricks! Those Low-Hanging-Knee-Knockers belong in a brassiere, of the push-up variety, where they can be secured and made to look presentable. Here's the same woman wearing something that accentuates, rather than dishonors, her God-given gifts!
See what I mean? It's so much nicer than the Sacrilegious Sandbags look! However, Sacrilegious Sandbags are still more pleasing to look at than a foreskin stretched beyond comprehension to resemble a wristwatch. Trust me.
Deadpool & Wolverine: is going to make so much money
I would be shocked if it didn't. It doesn't even have to be all that good. People are starving for a reason to go to the movies this summer but the offerings out of Tinsel Town have been particularly shitty. Current projections have this year's total domestic box office gross trending towards a 10% downturn compared to last year - primarily because this year's summer slate has been so underwhelming:
While I'm sure you can blame some of the current box office cratering on COVID, the convenience of streaming, or general malaise, I think a bigger problem exists. Hollywood sucks. They make shitty movies, made by shitty ideologues who try and insert shitty Marxist messaging into their self-insert stories about being ugly nerds who never got laid.
Deadpool & Wolverine should be a departure from that.
Ryan Reynolds' two previous installments in this franchise have been enjoyable and worth your time and money. Moreover, Reynolds convinced Hugh Jackman to grow back his mutton chops, strap on the iconic yellow costume, and reprise his role as Wolverine for one last go-round. Based on the trailers, Marvel boss, Kevin Feige appears to have given Reynolds the green light to fill this film with 'fucks', sexual references, and adult themes that make the Deadpool franchise unique.
This film's attempt at fun has upset some film critics who say that "Reynolds's teasing gay banter" has "overstayed its welcome" because we never "see Reynolds actually kissing other men on screen". This led one critic to say "[i]f one wanted to interpret the Deadpool as being homophobia-by-overcorrection, I wouldn't stop ‘em." And you wonder why people don't care about what critics say anymore.
Insane critics aside, people are going to watch this movie. A lot of them. Despite being R-Rated, it's going to make a shit load of money because people are begging for a reason to get to the theaters and have Hollywood entertain them. Hopefully, Ryan Reynolds repays that favor with an engaging, violent, crude, and funny, fourth-wall-breaking, movie worthy of its predecessors. Hopefully, the film makes money, and hopefully, the big brains in Hollywood take this as an opportunity to admit their failures and give audiences more of what they want - more fun, less literal homosexual shit.
Regular News!
Holy Shit: Joe Biden isn't running for re-election
Joe Biden did not want to step aside. Biden made that much clear through the various interviews and statements he shared in the weeks that followed his disastrous debate performance in late June. Moreover, Joe Biden did not need to step aside. He had the war chest. He had the delegates. There was nothing the party could do to force him to stand down (at least within the rules).
But Joe Biden did step aside, announcing his decision not to run for re-election on Sunday on Twitter of all places. We did not see him. We did not hear from him. All we got was this fairly benign letter, signed by the President (or at least someone purporting to be the President), stating that he was no longer seeking re-election because he didn't want to "be a distraction" or something.
While we don't officially know why he chose to step aside, we all know the unofficial real reason he's not running - his party threatened him. They did this pretty publicly. They told him they were going to stop fundraising for his campaign. And, according to "Democrat sources", Nancy Pelosi made clear to the Bidens that "they could do this the easy way or the hard way" and that after three weeks of trying the easy way, "it was about to be the hard way."
THAT SURE SOUNDS LIKE A THREAT! What was the "hard way"? Were they going to start revealing all of the skeletons they had helped bury over Biden's 50-year career? Were they going to threaten to stop obstructing GOP investigations into his family's pretty obvious self-dealing? Was it something even worse?
It sure looks like we witnessed a bloodless coup in real time over the past month. The Obamas, Clintons, Nancy, Chuck, donors, Hollywood, MSNBC, the Atlantic, CNN, and every other liberal elite joined forces to oust a sitting president during his re-election campaign. Every one of the 14,465,519 libtards who voted for Biden during the primaries has been effectively disenfranchised. None of this is illegal, mind you, and not a single libtard will change their vote to Trump or sit out this election as a result of this soft overthrow of their candidate
This all feels rather Soviet, does it not?
I do not like Joe Biden. I do not believe that he is a good man. I do not believe that he was cognitively fit for office, even back in 2020. But he was the nominee and to effectively put a gun to his head to step aside feels like a subversion of our democracy . . . the same one that Democrats insist they are trying to save.
To any Republican happy to see Sleepy Joe go, I would remind you that the catastrophically bad policies of the Biden administration still seem somehow less bad than what we would get under President Harris. Kamala's entire 2020 campaign was premised on government by dictate. In 2019-2020, Harris stated that she would support the seizing of patents, the mass confiscation of firearms, the nationalization of abortion law, and the elimination of the private health insurance plans of 180 million people - all via executive order. Oh, and she wanted to nuke the filibuster to pass AOC's Green New Deal. Not great!
So, yeah, remarkably the 2024 election has become crazier than the 2020 election - which was a pretty fucking crazy election! We don't even officially know if Kamala will replace Joe! It could be Michelle Obama, or Joe Manchin (?), or if you're a shitlib who suffers from West Wing brain, Aaron Sorkin's choice, Mitt Romney! Yes, that was a thing that happened - Sorkin suggested Democrats nominate Romney to replace Biden. Ponderous.
We have no choice but to just sit back, relax, and strap it down for the next 4 months, and just watch the whole thing unfold. Mercy.
Journos Behaving Badly: Axios Gaslights America on Border Czar Kamala
The media only has about 100 days to make Kamala Harris into something other than the most liberal member of the Senate, a useless VP with zero accomplishments, and/or an awkward wine aunt who talks in nursery rhymes - so they've fired up the propaganda machine and turned it to eleven . . . thousand.
On Wednesday, Axios published a story that said "The Trump campaign and Republicans have tagged Harris repeatedly with the ‘border czar’ title — which she never actually had." Axios neglected to mention that in 2021, Axios had previously reported that Harris was "appointed by Biden as border czar" and that another 2021 post, written by the author of this 2024 report, was headlined, "Biden puts Harris in charge of the border crisis." Axios wasn't alone - CNN, CBS, NBC, basically everyone referred to as "border czar" because that's the term informally used by people tasked with leadership responsibility within the executive branch. Kind of like how we colloquially refer to the director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy as the "drug czar".
No, "border czar" is not a legal term, but it's a term that is understood and is used with familiarity. Axios got caught being detestable agitprop. You think you hate the media enough. You don't, but you think you do.
GovTrack: also horrible propagandists
In 2019, GovTrack, an allegedly independently run website that tracks information about elected representatives and senators in Congress - including their voting records - rated Kamala Harris as the most liberal member of the United States Senate. Harris was rated more communist than Bernie Sanders based on actual votes she had cast while in the Senate.
Well, after it became apparent that Biden was dropping out and Kamala would be the nominee - many people on social media (including myself) started reminding people how far left Kamala Harris would govern and cited GovTrack as proof. Since this had become an inconvenient truth for those who desire Harris to rule over us as a Marxist despot GovTrack deleted and then added a statement explaining that they had removed it because upon examination the data for her entire tenure "showed a different story" or something.
If this was state-run media, would it look any different?
The Polls: The Kamala bump looks like a molehill, not a mountain.
With the entirety of the regime and its institutions attempting to re-write the past four years, one would think we'd see Kamala experience a major bump over where Joe Biden was polling six days ago. We've seen a bump, but it has more closely resembled the modest melons of a Marjorie Taylor Greene rather than the mountainous mams of a Nancy Mace:
It's still very early in this process, but from the reputable polls I've seen on social media, Harris has not made sizeable gains among younger voters, and she's still trailing in PA (which is why she might pick Pennsylvania Governor, Josh Shapiro), she is still unpopular, she's only improved 5% to +9% among voters under 35 (which Biden had won by 21% in 2020), and her gains among Latinos and blacks still would not put her near the same Biden 2020 levels.
I am no pollster, nor do I claim to be a data scientist, but I can read vibes somewhat and I would've thought we'd see better numbers for Kamala as voters rejoiced at the chance of having a different candidate. We've seen a little bit of that, but not enough so far to win her the White House. We shall see.
The Other McCain: The Coronation of Queen Kamala: Why Are You Peasants Such Racist Sexists?; Snopes Attacks ‘Unfounded Rumor’ of Biden’s Medical Emergency in Vegas; and Secret Service Boss Resigns After Disastrous Congressional Testimony
The one in which Robert Stacy McCain shares a bit of news that Kimberley Cheatle, the DEI appointed Director of the USSS, has resigned:
Going to take a moment away from being cynical towards Congress and give them a very, very, very rare W for how they handled Cheatle's testimony. Both sides grilled and exposed her for being completely outside her depth. 2023 Mommy Milky Division Winner, Rep. Nancy Mace, made the biggest splash by telling Cheatle that she was "full of shit" for refusing to answer questions. Even AOC asked a very levelheaded question, pondering why the Secret Service didn't have anyone on a roof 130 yards away when the AR-15, the most commercially popular rifle in America, has an effective range of 400-600 yards. At the conclusion of the hearings House Committee on Oversight and Accountability Chairman James Comer and its Ranking Member Jamie Raskin issued a joint. bi-partisan, statement calling on Cheatle to resign.
These people are all numbskulls, but I must admit that they did take this hearing seriously. It was kind of nice to see. It won't last, mind you, but Kimberly Cheatle has the distinction of being so bad at her job that she got Republicans and Democrats to agree on something.
David Thompson: This Is Your Captain Speaking
The one where David shares a bit of news from Argentina, where things appear to be getting better, but still have a way to go:
"Argentina's first transgender pilot has debuted the new uniform designed for female pilots of the country's national airline.
[He] announced his "transition" to passengers during a flight last year, after which one person tried to get off the plane."
Can't say I blame the dude who tried to exit the airplane - I would not want to be stuck inside a 250-ton metal cylinder cruising through the air at 737 mph when someone misgenders him or "dead names" him. High self-harm rates and all.
Odds and ends:
Chicago cop who exposed Smollett hoax warns voters about Kamala
Elon Musk not donating $45 million a month to Trump's campaign
James Carville cautions Democrats to be 'careful' about Harris's excitement
Siraj Hashmi Receives Death Threats for Viral Kamala BJ Tweet
How Jeff Bezos' 'two-pizza rule' made Amazon one of the world's biggest companies . . . Bezos' "two pizza rule?" **hmmmm**
Hero Saves Burning American Flag from Marxist Hamas Supporters
Sports! Sports! Sports!
Let's Talk About The Olympics
The 33rd Summer Olympic Games will officially open tonight in Paris and continue for two weeks until August 11th. This snuck up on me if I am being honest - probably because of all the political assassinations (both literal and figurative) taking place over the past couple of weeks. But the Summer Olympics are upon us, so I figured we'd look at some athletes and events of note.
Alicia Schmidt
Schmidt is a German track and field athlete who has been dubbed "the world's sexiest athlete" by publications that never consulted me on whether or not she deserves such a title (maybe). This blitzkrieging blonde bombshell has 5 million followers on Instagram, making her a formidable force on the eGirl sports influencer scene. Schmidt will be competing for Germany in the mixed 4x400m relay and I hope the French are prepared, because the last time a team of Germans stormed through the Ardennes seeking glory . . . well, you know . . . it didn't end well for any of the parties involved.
Lieke Klaver
Competing against Schmidt in the 4x400 relay and for eGirl Sport Influencer supremacy is Dutch sprinter Lieke Klaver. Based on my thorough research, it would appear that relay running is where the most attractive athletes compete. This is fascinating, I am not sure why this phenomenon exists. Perhaps it's the thiccness of the thighs that develops over years of training. Regardless, Klaver will not be able to claim neutrality like her country did during World War 2, lest she be invaded by and conquered by Schmidt and Team Germany . . . like the Netherlands was during World War 2.
Molly Caudery
This pole-vaulting Cornwaller holds the British national record for the women's pole vault, with a best of 4.92 m. I assume that's pretty impressive, but I do not know much about pole vaulting. It's a pretty crazy sport when you think about it. You take this giant fiberglass rod, shove it into the ground, put your weight on it, and propel yourself into the air. People used to do this to cross marshes and shit back in the day. Gotta have some balls (figurative ones as Molly highlights) to throw down that pole and see what happens. Caudrey will need to prevent her opponents from achieving air superiority over her, much like her country did against the Germans during the Battle of Britain if she wants to win Olympic Gold.
Yuliya Efimova
This Ravishing Rooskie is a 7-time World Champion and three-time Olympic medalist and is known somewhat as the 'bad girl of competitive swimming' after being caught using performance-enhancing drugs early in her career. This has led many of her competitors to call her a 'dope cheat', but what those haters fail to appreciate is that Efimova was only honoring a decades-old Soviet tradition by taking banned substances to increase her chance at winning. At 32, Efimova will need to prove more seaworthy than the World War I era battle relied upon by the Soviet Navy at the onset of Operation Barbarossa in WW2 if she wants to win her fourth Olympic medal.
How profoundly stupid was this section? Answer: pretty profoundly stupid.
I was curious as to why Outkick referred to Sophie as 'MAGA' Sophie Cunningham, so I did a little research and you'll be shocked to learn that this nickname stems from libtards being stupid on social media. Back in June, Ms. Cunningham, who finished second in the WNBA's all-star skills competition last weekend, showed up to a game wearing a 'bright red hat'. She wore a red hat that some fans thought looked awfully close to a "Make America Great Again" hat. It wasn't though. Her hat said "Hot Cowgirl Summer" on the front of it.
That's all. Literally. How fucking dumb. What fucking racists these WNBA fans are.
And what if Sophie Cunningham does support Donald Trump? So what? If she does, she's not throwing it anyone's faces, like say, every athlete who protested the national anthem, wore shirts in support of their preferred candidate, or openly cheered on rioters who burned down cities in furtherance of "justice". These people are fucking ponderous. Leave Sophie Cunningham alone, she seems fun!
Look at that! She's doing the balls under the t-shirt thing that everybody (both male and female) did when they were growing up! That's funny! She seems like a good teammate, who might, theoretically, support the leading candidate for the presidency right now. How terrible! Fuck the haters, Sophie.
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (for journalistic purposes):
First things first, that is Fox Sports host, Joy Taylor, showing 'thighs and cleavage while posing in a tiny bikini on a boat', making this a very literal BSO headline.
Furthermore, I have noticed something unique about Ms. Taylor. No, not her Sportscasting Cantaloupes, though those are nice as well. She takes a lot of vacations. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I'm sure she works hard doing sports show hosting stuff, but her social media is littered with photos of her enjoying the scenery at various exotic locations.
In fact, of the 54 stories that BSO has written about Joy Taylor, approximately 25 of them have been about Joy Taylor lighting up social media with photos of her on vacation. That's 46%! That's a very high percentage of vacation-based reporting! Nobody's complaining here, mind you, she's a lovely lady! The photos are spectacular! You just don't see as many vacations with other influencers!
That's all, just thought it was kind of interesting data to share with you.
That's all I got. Time to end this blog.
Meme of the Week!
This week's top meme honors go to @magills_ for this meme on a subject that I didn't get a chance to touch on above - the cringe attempts to frame Kamala Harris into some type of cultural icon. She's not. She never has been. She is the most unpopular Vice President in history (lowest net-negative rating), and yet, we've seen a full week's push to recast her as a competent, funny, or likable.
The most embarrassing development in this effort was the Harris campaign branding Kamala as "brat". Don't know what "brat" means? Well, neither did literally anyone other than TikTok-obsessed Zoomers until like 6 days ago. "Brat" comes from a British popstar named Chalie XCX who describes a "brat" as:
"That girl who is a little messy and likes to party and maybe says some dumb things sometimes. Who feels herself but maybe also has a breakdown. But kind of like, parties through it, is very honest, very blunt. A little bit volatile. Like, does dumb things. But it’s brat. You’re brat. That’s brat."
One would think a presidential nominee wouldn't want to be viewed as a "messy girl" who "says dumb things", has "breakdowns, but kind of like parties through it" and is "a bit volatile", but what do I know? The "brat girl summer" aesthetic features this horrific shade of chartreuse paired with pixelated text, making the whole thing rather off-putting. Upon further thought, this does fit Kamala Harris:
The tweet from @magills_ was a monster, accurately exposing the ridiculousness of the transparent attempt to try and make Kamala Harris cool by comparing it to how so many film and TV critics pump up woke shows that audiences loathe. The tweet went viral, racking up 2.3M views, 4.8K retweets and 58K likes. It was so good that it was screenshotted and posted by popular meme account @lporiginalg.
I reached out to @magills_ for his reaction to winning this week's award and here is what he shared with me for publication:
So true! That would be funny!
Some Flappr Blogs!
IF YOU'VE MADE IT THIS FAR, LEAVE A COMMENT AND LET US KNOW YOU'RE ALIVE.
From politics to polls, from polls to pole vaulting, you aced it this week.🥇~~~ AJ
Boobs my favorite
Nicely done. As always.
Can't believe I read through this whole post, speaks to your talents as a writer.
Well done, cheers!
Not to be disagreeable, but women's volleyball is where the hottest Olympians are. Not beach, regular indoor volleyball.