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It’s Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, our weekly digest of curated links designed to keep you abreast of very important news!
Very Important News!
As if vanquishing the Kardashian Era of Gargantuan Glutes and ushering in the Age of Mommy Milkers wasn't impressive enough, Sydney Sweeney's heart-shaped heinie broke the internet last Friday.
In an Instagram captioned simply "i think they call this a thirst trap", Sweeney posted five photos of herself on a boat, clad in a bikini-style wet suit. In three of those photos, Sweeney's exposed cheeks sent a message to her remaining haters, letting them know that she's a multi-faceted threat whose thirst for conquest cannot be quenched by the big breast realm alone. She's a conKEISTERdora.
Among those most triggered by this post were the pathetic, ass-loving communists. Still bitter that boobs are back, these dumper devotees have slandered Sweeney's sweet seat with horrible accusations, such as "her boobs are trying to write checks her flat ass can’t cash." Well, with the arch of a back and the push of the button, she silenced the haters and set social media blaze for almost an entire week. Sweeney's derriere was so dynamic that future HOF wideout and noted black person, DeAndre Hopkins, could not help but share his admiration, posting "trapped" as a comment on Sweeney's IG post.
As I've said before, this is Sydney Sweeney's world and the rest of us are just along for the ride. The 2024 Sydney Sweeney World Domination Tour continues. Who knows what she'll conquer next?
People (gender goblin psychos) are very mad at Blake Lively right now.
You see, back in 2009, Lively gave an interview to Allure magazine where she said that she feels "like a tranny a lot of the time" because she's tall, wears heels, and towers "over every man." Then, in 2012, Lively committed blasphemy once again, saying in an interview with Elle magazine that she hoped to have a few daughters one day or "[i]f not girls, they'd better be trannies" because she has "some amazing shoes and bags and stories that need to be appreciated".
Now, rather than looking at these quotes in the context of the intent and time of how and when they were made, the mentally ill community has instead chosen to get angry! Very angry! They want Lively to be canceled! How dare she use a term that was widely acceptable in 2009 and 2012 (and still is acceptable)! How dare she make a joke! Doesn't she know that jokes literally kill people?! What's most absurd about this ordeal is that Blake Lively is likely sympathetic to their cause!
Lively was a big Obama and Hillary Clinton supporter! She's friends with Biden supporting Taylor Swift! She might have married Ryan Reynolds on a plantation, but Lively would probably never use the term "tranny" in 2024 (at least not publicly). Unfortunately for Blake, none of that matters in the clown world.
Despite her politics, I've always had a soft spot for Blake Lively, whose career, marriage, and family are a Hollywood success story. At age 27, at the height of her hotness and career, Lively decided to start a family with Reynolds, giving birth to their child in 2014 and then three more over the next nine years. She could've focused on trying to be the next Kate Hudson but chose to be Blake Lively, a smoking hot mom and occasional actress, instead.
This appears to have paid off! Lively is currently starring in It Ends with Us, a mega-hit that has raked in over $180 million on a budget of only $25 million, and she also has a cameo in Deadpool & Wolverine, which is the second-highest-grossing film of 2024. This makes Lively the most profitable actor of the year and goes to show that choosing motherhood doesn't foreclose one from all future career endeavors; however, offending the official state religion just might.
For real, though, she did get married on a plantation and does seem kind of bitchy (good kind of bitchy!), this saga might red pill her. That would be fun.
Bikini Congresswoman? Really Outkick? That is how we're going to refer to a rock-ribbed, conservative congresswoman that the Heritage Foundation rated 98% based on her voting record in the 118th Congress. We'll have you know that this Bikini Congresswoman has a name and it's Anna Paulina Luna, representative of the 13th district of Florida and winner of the IBTC Division of Flappr's Milkers of the Year Awards. Not only that, Rep. Luna appears to have been a semi-finalist in Maxim's Hometown Hotties modeling competition back in 2014. Sure, that's a far less prestigious award than our own, but still something worthy of praise:
Fascinating. I wonder who won that year. Probably not someone who went on to win a seat in Congress. Also, who knew that Maxim was even still around? In a sane world, they would be publishing this blog every week. Oh Well. Anyways, after a video of Anna Paulina Luna wearing a MAGA bikini resurfaced last week, Maxim appears to have seized on the opportunity and published an article about Luna's life, career, and time spent modeling for the magazine. It's kind of a well-considered, fairly apolitical, profile of Anna Paulina Luna.
According to the article, she was born in 1989 to a single mother in Southern California. Her father was a drug addict, her grandmother was a heroin addict, and her family relied on welfare, moving from one low-income neighborhood to another. To help lift herself out of poverty, Luna joined the Air Force, where she met her husband, Andrew Gamberzky, a Bronze Star and Purple Heart recipient. Luna received an honorable discharge and wanted to pursue med school, but her plans were derailed after her husband was badly injured during combat in Afghanistan. According to Gamberzky “she dropped everything" to help him and they have "seen so much together" and it only makes them "stronger.”
I did not know any of this. It adds to what I think of Rep. Luna, who is a mother of one and is running for re-election this year in a race that Cook Political Report rates as “likely Republican.” Luna seems like a pretty good human being, who just also happens a based RW Latina MILF who modeled bikinis and sits in Congress. Let's hope she stays there this fall.
Sundress Nationalism (Remastered)
Earlier this week I stumbled upon a tweet from Brittany Martinez, a model, mother, and founder of Evie - a conservative women's fashion magazine, where Brit stated "[f]orget the bikini pics, I want to see women in Sundresses". This proverbial call to arm(less dresses) led women to post photos of themselves in their finest, flowy, summer fashions. Much sundress nationalism was embraced.
This cavalcade of civvies inspired me to revisit my video essay Embrace Sundress Nationalism, which is somehow almost two years old. That video represents a mile-marker in my content-making endeavors. It was the first time I tried to seriously adapt one of my blogs into a video essay for YouTube. The quality of the video was not as good as I remembered. The AI narration sucked. Some of the editing was sloppy and the music selection was poor. adding nothing to the experience.
I think I've become much better at video production in the years that followed, so I decided to re-write and remaster the video, just for shits and giggles. I located better source clips, found better music, tightened up the dialogue, and replaced the narration. I'm not sure how many of you are fascinated by this type of "inside look" into the content-making process, but I always enjoy learning how others do what they do, so I figured I'd share this story with you. Check out the new version.
I would be interested if you notice any discernible change in quality, or if I still suck at this hobby. I might.
Regular News!
Bye Bye Biden: The Midnight Speech Nobody Watched
The Harris campaign had Joe Biden give his big DNC speech on the first night of the convention. Former presidents typically do not speak on the first night, let alone current sitting presidents. Hell, Barack and Michelle spoke on Tuesday. Then again, Joe Biden is not your typical current, soon-to-be former, sitting president.
No, Joe Biden is an inconvenient reminder to the attendees who spent three and a half years trumpeting his brilliance before turning on him and stabbing him directly in the heart - all in less than a month! Biden being at the convention forces people to confront their conscience and the blood they have on their hands (looking at you, Nancy!). So they put Joe at the end of night one to get him out of the way. and allow them to pretend all that unpleasantness never happened. Joe who?
The Democrats are so embarrassed by Biden's inadequacies that they didn't even let him speak until almost 11:30 Eastern, meaning that the vast majority of the country didn't even see what amounts to one of his farewell addresses. Can't say I blame them, his speech was terrible, incoherent, and riddled with falsehoods like the "very fine people" hoax and that his administration built 500,000 EV charging stations (they got 7.5 billion dollars, and have only built seven). There were times when he struggled with words. There were times when he seemed unsure of his surroundings. There were times when he screamed for no apparent reason.
So, it was a typical Biden experience.
What we have been observing is the most public of public humiliation rituals ever recorded. Joe Biden has been so thoroughly denigrated and then defenestrated that no amount of half-hearted "we love Joe" chants will ever remove the stench of ignominy on his forever-stained legacy.
Part of me feels a little bad for him. Then I remember how he coordinated with the teachers' unions to keep schools closed, or how he pilfered the public coffers to reward spoiled women's studies grads with unconstitutional loan forgiveness, or how he looked at his watch when during the ceremony for soldiers killed during his disgraceful withdrawal from Afghanistan in 2021, or how he opened our borders and let in millions of illegals, or how his DOJ targeted parents at school board meetings . . . and any sympathy I might have had evaporates.
Fuck off, Joe. You should've never been president and wouldn't have been if not for a media that actively hid who you were from the American people.
Kamala's DNC Speech: I didn't watch
The headline tells the story here. I didn't see Kamala's speech last night. Not out of protest or anything, I just had other shit going on. I don't plan to watch it at this point, so I figured I'd let you recap how her speech went:
Watching paint dry is better than eating paint chips, especially if those paint chips were from prior to 1978 before lead-based paints were banned for residential use. Eating old lead-based paint chips is a common cause of lead poisoning in children and can cause a reduced IQ, and lower educational attainment.
That's good. Cardio is important because it burns fat and calories, enhances sleep quality, expands lung capacity, and helps fight osteoporosis, reducing your chances of hip fractures as you age.
Not a single sundress at the event? When people ask you to provide evidence of how Kamala Harris is a communist, just show them this tweet.
Vampire survivors? Not familiar with that game. I assume it involves trying to escape Hillary Clinton's ping pong crypt? Sounds fun.
Yeah, so this was interesting. The media strongly suggested that Beyonce and/or Taylor Swift would be performing during the final night of the DNC. Then, neither of them did. There was no special guest. The whole thing is very weird. Is it possible that they just lied to get people to watch? That's cringy.
Alright, I think we get the gist here . . . moving on.
Americans are profoundly uninformed; Half believe overturning Roe v. Wade banned abortion
This poll, conducted by @SkepResCenter in 2023, came across my feed this week and made me thoroughly frustrated. How fucking dumb are we? How many of us go about our lives as willfully ignorant twats? How are we supposed to live in a Democracy when over half of us don't even know what the fuck we're voting on?
My first inclination is to blame the regime media, which frames every single issue through the prism of leftwing policy and electoral goals. People who get their news from CNN, MSNBC, and TikTok were unlikely to ever hear what overturning Roe v. Wade meant for abortion, just like they were unlikely to hear what the true risks of COVID were (41% of Democrats believed being hospitalized from COVID-19 happened in 50% or higher of diagnoses - the real number was 5%). These people were, however, subjected to near non-stop panic over back-alley abortions, forced pregnancies, and how the MAGA Supreme Court had just heralded in The Handmaid's Tale so Trump could impregnate women with his orange-tinged penis.
SIXTY-THREE percent of Libtards believed abortion was illegal over a year after the Dobbs ruling. Forty-five percent of Republicans believed the same! Many people probably still do! WHAT THE FUCK! WHY ARE WE SO FUCKING STUPID?!
The media is definitely at blame here, but we live in an era where answers to such questions are available at our fingertips. There is no excuse for being so painfully uninformed. Here is the truth - the average American is fucking ignorant of how the world around them operates and likes it that way. They want someone to tell them what to think and how to think and that's why someone like Kamala Harris can go from being the most unpopular VP in history to having a net positive approval rating within a three-week span. We've become stupid fucking lemmings who gobble up every piece of propaganda fed to us without a second thought - ESPECIALLY when that propaganda confirms our priors (both sides).
We might have to learn this lesson again in November and if we do, we're gonna learn it good and hard.
Trump x Theo Von: The Interview
A couple of weeks back, Trump did a sit down with Adin Ross, one of the biggest streamers in the world. Last week, he did the same with Elon Musk on Twitter. This week, he did almost a full hour with stand-up comedian, Theo Von, host of This Past Weekend, the eighth most popular podcast in America, right behind This American Life. Trump is going where the people are, sitting down for longform interviews that will be heard by millions of people. More specifically, millions of young or youngish people that have never heard Trump speak, outside of regime curated soundbites, are getting a chance to hear from the man himself.
These interviews rarely get substantive policy wise, but they have gotten personal and showed a side of Trump that the corporate media forbids. For instance, in the clip above, Trump speaks at length about his brother, Fred, and how Fred's alcoholism led him to abstain from alcohol and smoking cigarettes. This was one of the more open and personal moments I've ever seen from Trump. He's vulnerable, even. Kind of amazing that a standup comedian was able to get this out of him.
In both the Adin Ross and Von interviews, Trump credited his 18-year-old son, Barron, for recommending the hosts to him. "My son's a big fan of yours, Barron. He knows you very well. He said, dad he's big." says Trump at the beginning of his Von appearance. Like it or not, Barron is unironically helping his dad's campaign. Mr. Barron, if you read Flappr, please stop. But if you must, please let your dad know that we'd like to have him record an intro for Cloth Off Friday.
The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Welcome, Indiana!; DNC Debacle on Opening Night: Biden Pushed Out of Prime Time as Disorganized Convention Schedule Runs Overtime; and Is Chicago Burning Yet?
The one where Robert Stacy McCain challenges pro-Hamas protestors:
"Got to be honest, the pro-Hamas “resistance” in Chicago so far has been rather disappointing. If they can’t work up some violent chaos in the streets for the Democratic National Convention, what good are they, huh?"
You know what, as I write this the protests in my hometown of Chicago haven't been THAT bad! Sure, these degenerates burned the American flag, because they're trust-fund Marxists and that's what trust-fund Marxists do - but otherwise, things have been fairly quiet. How convenient and fortuitous for the DNC!
Shockingly, it appears that multiple layers of fencing, 500 additional Chicago Police Officers, 250 members of the Illinois National Guard, and 300 extra out-of-state officers (funded by a federal grant by DHS) can keep people safe! The DNC is proving that walls work, and extra police can protect neighborhoods from bad people! Thank you, Democrats!
You know when we didn't have multiple layers of fencing, 500 additional officers, and 250 members of the Illinois National Guard? During the 2020 riots, when hundreds of scumbags tried tearing down a statue of Christopher Columbus in Grant Park. They injured 18 officers and the statue was eventually removed by the order of Mayor Beetlejuice for "public safety concerns".
This was during COVID, mind you when my children weren't allowed to go to school because of how deadly it was to leave our houses. But I digress, there weren't additional officers made available on May 30th that year when almost every storefront on Michigan Avenue was looted (and 132 officers were injured).
You get the idea. These libtard democrats at the DNC want to take your guns and reduce the number of police . . . for you, not them. For them, they want private security, sturdy fences, and all the riffraff arrested. All of the crime, death, and carnage we're suffering through is a policy choice. They could fix it all tomorrow if they wanted, but they choose to fund taxpayer-funded sex reassignment surgeries for prisoners instead.
Ponderous.
Odds and ends
Flappr is still shadow-banned; "Cloth Off" became "Cloth On"
Elon Musk brought the gun emoji back to Twitter; libtards wailed
AOC did the fake accent thing again.
I'm not ready to talk about Lauren Boebert's tattoo, but it's somethin.
Hamas sympathizers get bodied while trying to crash DNC event for Jews; all parties will still vote for Kamala Harris
Izaboo is correct, Chicago is not a shit-hole, despite being run by people who seem intent on turning it into one; still wouldn't recommend moving here as things are likely to get worse before they get better.
The Acolyte was canceled; hundreds of fans are disappointed.
Sports! Sports! Sports!
I am a bit torn on what to think about Tua's comments. Part of me thinks it's bad form to air this dirty laundry in public, years after it took place. The other part of me thinks Brian Flores is a kind of a cunt who deserves to be dragged for actively trying to torpedo Tagovailoa's career from his rookie year until Flores was fired.
And by all accounts, Flores did do just that. During Tua's rookie season, Flores replaced Tagovailoa twice in the fourth quarter of games with Ryan Fitzpatrick. The following season, after Tua struggled, Flores not so coyly leaked to the media that he wanted to draft Justin Herbert, who went one pick after Tagovailoa and won Rookie of the Year. That same year, Flores also did very little to silence rumors that the team was looking to acquire serial massage enthusiast, DeShaun Watson, and move on from his second-year QB.
If I was Tua, I wouldn't let go too easily. I'm sure Tua is feeling a bit vindicated after leading the league in passing last year, making his first Pro Bowl, and securing a huge 4-year, $212 million contract under head coach Mike McDaniel. Moreover, Tua gets shit on by the media more than any other player in the NFL. For some reason, they really have it in for this dude. They criticized him for not being sturdy enough to withstand the rigors of an NFL season. So he put on weight. Then they criticized him for being too fat. Body shaming is NOT OK!
Then this week, the same media who bemoans how players only speak in cliches are now mad that Tua opened up and spoke honestly about what it was like to play for Flores. I suspect the reason why is that the media, made up of libtard journos who wish they were Edward R. Murrow, is sympathetic towards Flores, a black coach who is suing the league for race discrimination. I'm sure they don't love how visible and vocal is about his Christian faith either. The media may love drama, but they value their social justice prerogatives above all else.
So while I generally don't think it was a good idea for Tua to create this distraction for himself or his team so close to the start of the season, I will side with him anyway. Mainly because I think Tua seems like a decent, humble, guy and I detest sports journalists, who are somehow worse than regular journalists but still slightly better than gaming journalists.
I suppose that makes me a TuAnon supporter! The Storm is Coming, Mike Florio! Patriots errrrr Dolphins in Control!
Sean Payton named Bo Nix the Broncos starter, making Nix the first rookie to start Week 1 at quarterback since horse toothed John Elway in 1983. To claim the job, Nix had to beat out renowned MILF-hunter, Zach Wilson, who would have only served as a caretaker option anyway - so with all else being equal it does make sense to let the rookie play.
Even aside from that, Nix looks good. Drafted 12th overall in April, Nix fits the mold of a Sean Payton quarterback. Much like Drew Brees, Nix is very accurate with the football, especially in the short to intermediate range. In his last year at Oregon, this Arkansas native completed over 77% of his passes. That's an impressive completion percentage for a single game, let alone an entire season where he attempted nearly 500 passes.
Moreover, Nix has looked NFL-ready in the preseason, throwing two touchdowns and completing 76% of his passes in his two appearances. This is not a shock, as Bo played a shitload in college, starting 34 games for Auburn before transferring to Oregon and starting another 27 for the Ducks.
The Broncos don't have a ton of weapons for Nix to work with, but Sean Payton is one of the best coaches in the league and his offense will make things easier for Nix with plenty of high percentage throws. Nix might not end up becoming the next Drew Brees, but I must admit he looks pretty damn good thus far.
The Nixon Admin begins anew on September 8th, in Seattle versus the Seahawks.
Kayla Simmons: Holy Shit. Holy Shit. Holy Shit.
I'm going to break character for a second. The vast majority of the time when I'm writing about "SSOs" or "eGirl Sports Influencers" I'm doing so with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. I hope you folks understand that's the gimmick here. In my real life, I don't obsess over any of the things written here. It's all just for fun. It's all just to entertain you. For laughs and your enjoyment. You know? These photos of Kayla Simmons made my jaw hit the floor. They might be three of the most stunning images ever captured by the telephoto lens. Her visage is reminiscent of Botticelli's Venus, standing on a giant scallop shell, as pure and as perfect as a pearl, arriving on land, born of the sea spray and blown there by the winds of our creator as a symbol of his love.
Put another way - holy shit, what a woman. Kayla Simmons is peak femininity. Part of me thinks that she read Flappr, learned how Outkick had questioned her standing as the "World's Sexiest Volleyball Player" and posted these photos to mock them for their insolence. Kayla is Flappr's gritter grinder with gorgeous glands and we all bore witness to her greatness this week. A modern-day Helen of Troy. The beauty that launched a thousand blogs. Are you not entertained?
Oh, and if you don't appreciate the brilliance of that gif, recreating Sandro Botticelli's Birth of Venus with Kayla Simmons and oil-painted renderings of Bill Belichick fading in as her praetorian guard, then we cannot be friends. Please just stop reading the blog. This GIF is a masterpiece. The best one I've made.
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (for journalistic purposes):
Uhhh yeah, that's a "curvy woman" at a "baseball game" who went viral after "dropping her pants to twerk in the stands". That's literally what happened in the video. This is a literal BSO headline. Well done, gents.
Apparently, this act of public thottery (not accidental public nudity, which is acceptable) happened at a Mexican Baseball League game. This is probably the most exciting thing to happen at any baseball game in any league this whole year. Baseball is boring. That's the joke here.
Moreover, the location and size of that Montezuman Mound, remind me of the wisdom of the great warrior poet, Kenny Powers, who, while playing baseball for The Charros in Mexico, once waxed poetically on the allure of Latina bums, stating:
"That sweet tailpipe did have me charmed. It put a spell on me, but all the ass magic in Mexico can't change Kenny Powers from his core beliefs. Not an ass man. I'm a tit man. I like big ass boobs. Now and forever. I'm not like a black guy, Vida."
So true. So true.
Meme of the Week!
This week's top meme honors go to @SirajAHashmi for this meme that accurately lampoons the "camo core" theme that the Harris-Walz campaign has deployed in their attempt to recapture white rural voters. The idea here, I suppose, is that such voters abandoned the Democrat party because they don't see enough Dems wearing Carhart or eating Doritos. Moreover, the DNC, for some reason, believes that Tim Walz, whose cowardice (or malice) allowed Minneapolis to burn in 2020, wields some type of cultural authenticity with these people.
This is as laughably out of touch as it is transparent.
Rural white voters left the Democrats because under Obama, Democrats, like Tim Walz, actively shit on them, mocked them (and their values), and adopted policies that made their lives worse. So, no, Tim Walz, who signed a bill requiring tampons be made available in school restrooms, will not suddenly woo the NRA crowd just because some overpaid consultant thought up this cringey gimmick. If anything, seeing an androgynous, Marxist, reptoid, like Kamala Harris' stepdaughter, wear this hat will feel like an insult. This is "camo-face" and this is not OK!
Siraj's meme points out the absurdity of this dynamic. The gun-hating, wine-drinking, lonely white woman, who suddenly falls in love with camo because the media told her it was "brat". She will eagerly plunge that enormous silicone phallus into her wretched orifice in a futile attempt to fill the God-shaped hole in her heart. Very funny. Very accurate.
I reached out to @SirajAHashmi for comment on receiving this week's award and here is what he shared with me for publication:
What did he mean by this?
Some Flappr Blogs!
IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, LEAVE A COMMENT AND LET US KNOW HOW WE DID!
Sports journos are a strange breed.
I enjoyed this week's T.I.T.S., and also enjoyed—but in a "love to hate it" way—this week's Cloth Off/On endeavor. I get the need to punish the haters (I do!), but I hope that going forward, we can all just get along. In short: Less schism, more cleavage.
Brilliant Comrade! Top notch content. Please accept this award of 'Hero of Socialist Labor' Remember, the Glorious World of Next Tuesday is right around the corner. Not this Tuesday, Next Tuesday!
I’m sad Pacino didn’t make an appearance for multiple great behinds. Glad to see you support Tua frying Flores for being a dumbass. I would agree w your assessment of why the media hates him.
Total banger for cloth off (on?) this week. Going to do huge numbers!