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It’s Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, our weekly digest of curated links designed to keep you abreast of very important news!
Very Important News!
Flappr: was suspended for Cloth Off Friday.
I'm not sure how many of you care, but this happened last Friday after posting a video we've posted every single Friday for almost 3 years. I have an idea about why it happened - for some reason, people watch this video each week see a woman they recognize, and feel compelled to tag that person. When that happens, the person tagged sees the video is probably confused and unhappy.
At that point, we're at their mercy. If they take their involuntary cameo in stride, then we're good. If they are upset by appearing in the video, then they can report the tweet for using their clip without permission. I think that is what happened this week. I think I know who reported the tweet and I'm not mad at them.
I am a little annoyed by the people who cannot resist tagging people, though. Before each Friday, I ask people NOT to tag in hopes of avoiding this outcome. I don't understand what these people seek to gain by tagging. Maybe they are simps and are hoping that tagging will get them a morsel of attention from a beautiful woman. Perhaps they tag people because they believe the subject will be honored to be included in our Friday video. I'm not sure why they tag, but every week, they tag. This week it (probably) resulted in our suspension. Shit happens.
If you're reading this and you like to tag people from the video - stop doing that. Please. It's helping us. It's not helping you. It's just putting Cloth Off Friday (and our account) at risk of termination. Thank you.
I've made my position known on the boobs vs. butt debate. "I'm not ass-man, I'm a tit-man. I like big ass boobs. Now and forever. I'm not like a black guy."
I'm no CommunASSt bum lover and I generally loathe the Kardashians and the effect they've had on our society . . . but if I was taking a photo, standing behind Kim Kardashian and my wife, I would absolutely glance at her gargantuan garbage can. Sorry, fellas, I am breaking bro-code here - all men would look. This applies even if your fiance is Katy Perry. This isn't an insult to you, but she has the most famous ass in the world. You owe it to yourself to see what all the fuss is about. Don't act like you wouldn't double-take if you saw Chris Hemsworth walking down the beach shirtless, you hussies!
I would, however, be more discreet than 'ol Legolas was here, though. Bloom wasn't "sneaking a peek", this was "cocking head, staring, pausing and analyzing". That's just bad form. Will Turner looked like he was a moment away from throwing himself face-first into Kim K's "booty" in search of her "cursed Black Pearl" (a little Pirates of the Carribean analingus humor for you there).
The correct strategy is to try and maintain your head and neck position while attempting to focus on your peripheral vision. This tactic allows you to glimpse at said bottom without raising the suspicions of those around you. In place of that, a well-timed fake sneeze or feigned "I think I have something in my eye" rub while peeking out of the other will suffice.
To Katy Perry's credit, responded in the absolute coolest way possible, stating "I approve" when asked about Bloom's behavior, calling it a "non-issue".
Bloom likely spent a night (or three) on the couch, but she did him a solid by refusing to shit on him publicly. Good for her!
She's an attractive woman and that dress is very flattering on her. I'm not sure that dress triggered libs or got the internet talking much more than it usually does whenever Nancy Mace posts a photo or video of herself, but it's a look worth discussing nonetheless. According to the article, some twat said that "dress is not professional at all", while another said her outfit looked like "ugly pj's (sic)".
These are fairly tame (and lame) Twitter replies if I'm being honest. Nancy Mace sees much worse when she tweets photos of her cat. Her literal cat.
Since libtards are incapable of being objective about Mace's style choices, I will share with you my own, expert analysis. There is a line in my video essay Embrace Sundress Nationalism where I note how wearing that "cornflower blue" sundress "brings out the blue in your eyes, which we swear we are focused on". Well, this pale blue number, while not a sundress, does bring out Mace's blue eyes. Moreover, the cut and the tailoring complement Mace's voluptuous figure (highlighting her ravishing republican-rib-cushions). This is a flattering ensemble she's put together. Very nice. See that, suck it, haters! I don't write sm*t, I'm a fashion and culture blogger!
**I have no idea if this is accurate**
On a separate note, Congresswoman Mace, winner of Flappr's 2023 Mommy Milker Division, has noticeably upped her social media game in recent months. She posts memes. She is snarky. She has become very . . . online. Usually, I kind of detest politicians who engage in this type of behavior, but Mace's approach has felt more organic than typical attempts by politicians to appear "cool" or "non-reptilian". Mace insists that she runs her own account, which if true (ehhh probably not) will require her to be very restrained lest she crossover into cringe.
I'm not sure why I spent so much time writing about this story, but I just finished watching the Trump-Harris debate and my brain is still numb. I think I needed to try and flush that experience out of my brain and rambling about Nancy Mace is the perfect elixir for what ails me. I hope you understand. Please don't google "Nancy Mace Big Boobs". Thank you.
I didn't think it was possible to make a set of prodigious-pop-star-pontoons look anything other than the most amazing thing God ever created, but this Addison Rae seems to have figured out a way. Why would you smush them together like that - especially with those weird shoulder pads things stitched to her bust line? They look amorphous and odd - like a bag of gummy bears left out in the sun.
Most importantly, they look sad and that breaks my heart - female human breasts should never look sad. Making an otherwise superb set of supple-songstress-salivators look sad should be a crime. Whoever dressed Ms. Rae for the VMAs should be in jail. No, I am not kidding. Did you even know the VMAs were happening this week? The VMAs used to mean something. A total cultural touchstone that signified the summer was over. The VMAs used to be the place where gorgeous people wore crazy stuff that made them look hot or nuttier than squirrel turds - but never sad! Remember this?
The year 2000. Rhinestone bra. Rhinestone thong underneath a pair of sheer, skin-colored tights. Not a sad bosom in sight. Peak America. An age of endless abundance. Racial harmony. World peace. The end of history. Top of the world.
What could ever go wrong? We used to be a proper country.
Regular News!
The Debate: Kamala v Donald, Round 1
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. This was a shit show.
What a disgraceful display from everyone involved. Donald Trump was unfocused, undisciplined, and rambled too much (so, more or less, a typical Trump debate performance). Kamala Harris was shaky, made weird faces, and didn't answer a single question (so, more or less, a typical Kamala Harris public appearance). There weren't many highlights or memorable moments to my eyes. The only one that stood out (probably because I am a Republican) was when Trump played an UNO reverse card and hit Kamala with an "I'm talking now":
The real stars of the evening were the moderators, David Muir and Linsey Davis, who threw every single shred of journalistic ethics out the window to help Kamala Harris and smear Donald Trump. They fact-checked Trump at least a half-dozen times (AND WERE WRONG ALMOST EVERY TIME)! They did not fact-check Kamala Harris (DESPITE HER SEVERAL OBVIOUS LIES)! Nearly every question was framed, more or less, like "Mr. Trump, you did this terrible thing why are you so terrible?" This performance by Muir and Davis was Candy Crowley on steroids.
Yes, moderators were THAT bad. The problem is that it doesn't matter because the media will never police itself and the average viewer is too dumb to notice the bias. You should be furious, but you should not expect anyone to care and this does not excuse Trump's choice to relitigate rally sizes and the 2020 election, or at least not to the extent he indulged them. When the stakes are this high, you must play the game as presented - whether the rules are rigged against you or not.
Final verdict: Harris probably came across as less frustrated than Trump (who was debating three people simultaneously), but neither candidate fell on their face . . . so a draw, I guess. It was a dreadful experience to watch.
Over at CNN, K-FILE (a CNN employee with integrity) did some journalisming! He went back and looked at an ACLU questionnaire that Kamala Harris filled out while running for president in 2019. Among her answers, he discovered that Kamala Harris said she supported:
drastic cuts in ICE funding and an open-ended pledge to “end” immigration detention;
decriminalizing federal drug possession for personal use;
legislation to provide fair and achievable paths to citizenship
for 11 million undocumented immigrants (the number is much bigger now, probably closer to 30 million and that's even a conservative estimate);
using executive authority to ensure that gender transition, including all necessary surgical care, be made available to illegals and prisoners via taxpayer funds.
This is only a smattering of far-left ideas she pledged support for in this questionnaire. You can read them all for yourself by clicking here. I'm not sure there was a single far-left cause she DIDN'T champion back in 2019 and while she may now say she no longer supports some of them, she does still insist that her "values have not changed".
God save us all.
The Other McCain: Rule 5 Sunday: Sunday Morning Coffee; and Yes, Kamala ‘Won’ That Debate (and Why It Probably Won’t Matter in November)
The one where Robert Stacey McCain breaks down that "debate":
"Was any voter really undecided before Tuesday? I suppose that all the regular readers here had made up their mind to vote for Trump long ago. Your choice was not in the least changed, was it? Ditto all the Harris voters — they were never going to be persuaded to vote for Trump, no matter what. They’d vote for a turnip if it had a “D” next to it. Who were the “undecided” voters, and why were they undecided? I have trouble imagining such people exist, and can’t begin to explain the motives for their indecision. But if they were leaning toward voting for Trump, why would they change their minds simply because he was extra-Trumpish during the debate? The man is a known quantity, for good or ill."
This rings true to my ears. If you were discouraged by Trump's debate performance, you probably set your expectations a little too high. While President Trump's always enjoyed the gift of gab, he's never been particularly well suited at explaining things in a nuanced or approachable manner for the average voter. So while he often gets in a few memorable jabs during a debate, he often struggles when trying to synthesize big issues into digestible talking points and tends to speak about things as though the viewer is already well-versed. This is easier said than done - something important to remember while watching from your couch.
All that being said, I don't think Trump was TERRIBLE, he just didn't do as well as he could've done and Kamala Harris was not impressive by any stretch of the imagination. Most importantly, I don't think this debate swayed many votes.
Odds and ends
It's been 23 years since a bunch of jihadist scumbags killed 2,977 Americans and turned the world upside down; here is a link to one of the best remembrances of that day - 9/11: My Reflection by Michael McCarthy
James Earl Jones, voice of Darth Vader, dead at 93.
The trailer for Big Steve Robinson's documentary film on illegal, CCP-run, marijuana grow operations in rural Maine dropped; looks fascinating.
Heidi Klum, still very horny, says "life is better without clothes".
Another childless cat lady endorsed Kamala Harris.
Lib pollster, Nate Silver, got hammered by libtards for sharing unfavorable Kamala Haris election forecasts, so he's been dunking on them this week.
Longtime friend, and occasional Flappr contributor, @nonpromqueen, got a shoutout on Dan Bongino:
Sports! Sports! Sports!
TNF: Bills beat the SHIT out of Tua and the Dolphins
This wasn't just a loss for the Miami Dolphins, this was likely a season-changing beat down - their 12th loss to Buffalo in their last 13 games against the Bills. Things couldn't have gone much worse for the 'Phins - they lost another home game to their biggest division rival, they got blown out, and they lost their newly extended starting quarterback to another concussion.
The game was never really close. Tua threw a pick on the first drive of the game and Josh Allen made Miami pay 6 plays later with a touchdown pass to James Cook. Miami would tie the game on the next drive, but Buffalo scored the next 17 points before the Dolphins kicked a field goal on the final play of the first half. Things didn't get any better thereafter, with Tua throwing his third interception of the game - this time a pick-six - on Miami's first drive of the second half.
Then things went from bad to "Oh shit, our season might be over". While scrambling for a first down Tua lunged head-first into the arm and shoulder of Damar Hamlin (weird, right?) and crumpled to the ground. Tagovailoa was ruled out of the game with a concussion, which is doubly concerning since Tua has had serious concussion issues in the past.
The Dolphins backup, Skylar Thompson, looks like a guy who is new to the game of football - not very impressive! This leaves the Bills, now with a head-to-head win against their biggest division rival, in the driver's seat to win the AFC East for the 5th straight season. I hope Tua returns soon because he's a good dude who plays the game hard - but sadly, this season already appears to be in jeopardy.
NFL Week 1: Reviewed by Flappr
My Flappr Big TDs Football Blog is BACK!
I'm trying something different this year, rather than wait to share my NFL thoughts in THIS blog on Fridays, five days after the previous week's games have been completed, I am going to try and finish them up on Monday evening. This way, I can deliver the content when it's fresh and provide you with an opportunity to read some football takes while they're still relevant.
The format is pretty simple - it's clips of highlights, it's short commentary, fun stats, some jokes, and some custom gifs. Think of it like the SportsCenter experience we grew up loving, but not woke and gay like it has become.
I hope you give it a read each week. Maybe just click the link to see what I had to say about your favorite team. Or, click the link to see what I had to say about my favorite team, the Bears, which will always be overwrought and borderline suicidal. It will be fun, I promise. I will be linking it here on Fridays, but it would be nice if you showed Flappr some love throughout the week. Please do this, because the football-centric content I write for this blog tends to languish, unread, making it hard for me to justify the continued effort required. Thank you.
Barstool Sports: Deshaun Watson Is Being Sued Again For An Alleged Sexual Assault Incident From 2020
In case you thought Deshaun Watson had limited his sexual assault activities to 26 women, a 27th woman filed a lawsuit against him on Monday for sexual assault and intentional infliction of emotional distress related to an incident she alleges took place in 2020. According to the suit, Watson and the plaintiff were to go on a date together, when she came out of the bathroom to find Watson "completely naked on her bed, lying face-down on his stomach". There, the plaintiff alleges, he demanded she massage his ass before he sexually assaulted her.
Not presuming guilt here, but this does fit the mold Watson's other accusers! In fact, given the alleged sexual assault, this case sounds worse than most of his previous cases! Taken together, Watson should probably be in jail instead of playing terribly at quarterback for the Browns! Harvey Weinstein has fewer accusers! What were the Browns thinking when they sent three first-round picks to Houston and signed Watson to a fully guaranteed $230 million contract? They knew this guy was, at best, a sexual deviant who spent an inordinate amount of time hunting for "massage therapists" on Instagram (or at worst, potentially a serial rapist). How do you trust someone like that with your franchise?
Well, according to libtard lawyer, Mike Florio, who is pretty good on such matters, Watson could face new scrutiny under the NFL's Personal Conduct Policy and provide "the Browns a path toward voiding his remaining salary guarantees" if Watson ends up being suspended. The Browns do not deserve this life raft.
On Tuesday, former collegiate Tennis Player and current very attractive Tennis Influencer, Rachel Stuhlmann tweeted out that she would be playing in her first pro-pickleball tournament. Ehhh, cool?
I don't know a ton about pickleball, except that it's one of the fastest-growing sports in the United States and is a favorite among surgeons and physical therapists due to the insane number of people who injure themselves while playing the sport. The rise of pickleball-related injuries among boomers has probably put countless children through college and funded the purchases of a similar number of new BMWs. Pickleball does look fun, though:
In general, pickleball is a good thing because it's accessible and gives people a reason to get off their asses and do something. I'm not sure how much I believe that pickleball will become a TV sport because Tennis itself isn't a media powerhouse in the United States, but it has evolved rapidly since 2020. The top dudes in pickleball are no longer retired hedge-fund managers in their 50s, they are in their 20s and they are world-class athletes:
I don't think we've come close to seeing the peak of pickleball popularity yet. I would be shocked if it's not included in the 2028 Olympics. Even the tennis GOAT, Novak Djokovic recently said that "tennis is endangered" because "they're gonna convert all the tennis clubs into paddle and pickleball. Because it's more economical." It will be interesting to see if pickleball will start drawing talent away from pro-tennis, which I kind of doubt, but stranger things have happened. At a minimum, pickleball should be considered a growth property for my eGirl Sports Influencer League (ESIL) and Ms. Stuhlmann could be its biggest star.
I just wrote almost 300 words on pickleball. How about that? Go figure.
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline. You you know what, we're just going to take BSO at their word here and rate this as a literal BSO headline. Yep, no need to investigate the literalness of an accidental Shannon Sharpe sex tape. We trust you, BSO!
Instead, here's a gif of fan favorite and greatest eGirl sports influencer of all time, Paige Sprianac, playing golf:
Wasn't that more pleasant than reading about Shannon Sharpe accidentally filming himself having sex on Instagram live? It sure was more pleasant for me not having to watch and then write about it.
Thank you, Paige!
Meme of the Week!
This week's top meme honor goes to noted cat humanitarian, @grand_handsomer, for this take on the Haitians in Springfield, OH are eating cats, geese and ducks story that dominated this week. The meme is very funny, but the story itself is very sad and confusing.
I can't say with any level of certainty that Haitians in Springfield, Ohio, are actively hunting ducks and geese from public lands or stealing cats from people's yards and then eating them. The cat story in particular appears to be misrepresented (it was just a crazy American lady!), but a police report filed only a couple of weeks ago describes 4 Haitians stealing geese. Now, that's not to say this is happening with any frequency to consider it a pattern, but there is enough corroboration that suggests something is happening in Springfield.
What I can say with certainty is that 20,000 Haitians do not belong in the town of Springfield, OH, whose 60,000 residents never signed up for, voted on or were asked if they wanted to have them. No, these "refugees" were placed in Springfield by the Biden administration via a program to "help migrants flee violence in certain countries". How nice of them and how convenient that these refugees weren't placed in, say, Martha's Vineyard or another democrat-heavy district where the median household income exceeds Springfield's $45,000.
What I can also say with certainty is that if not for this Biden administration program, a Haitian immigrant would not have caused a school bus crash and an 11-year-old boy would still be alive.
So yeah, Fred's meme was a bit spicy, a bit "insensitive", but it uses humor highlights something important - these people have their own culture, live by their own customs and belong back in Haiti, where they can harvest geese (or not) in peace. The AMERICAN citizens of Springfield, OH deserve to have their town back.
I reached out to @grand_handsomer for comment on receiving this week's award and here is what he shared with me for publication:
Wow.
Fred, a known clit-truther, says he is an enthusiastic cunnilinguist. If Fred was in the mafia, this information would be seen as emasculating and potentially a sign of homosexuality. But he says he'll gnash the gash of any American ladies who DM him . . . so if you have a muff in need of diving, his DMs are open. Not sure any of us would've seen this coming, but this is where we stand.
Special Thank You!
Special thank you to @LeeAnnStar23 for letting us use her video for this week's edition of Cloth Off Friday! I would embed the video here, but it's been censored by Twitter, so I cannot but if you click here, you should be able to watch.
Lee Ann streams on Rumble and posts absolute political heaters on Instagram and Twitter seemingly every day.
If you do not follow her on all of these platforms, you should. Please do.
Some Flappr Blogs!
IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, LEAVE A COMMENT AND LET US KNOW HOW WE DID!