It’s news. It’s sports. It’s commentary on weird shit from around the internet.
It’s Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, our weekly digest of curated links designed to keep you abreast of very important news!
EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm not feeling well, so if this week's edition of T | T S comes off as lesser than, I apologize and hope you enjoy what I was able to put together while operating at less than 100%. Sorry!
Very Important News!
People used to bemoan the unfairness of how men aged more gracefully than women. The prevailing wisdom has been that the customary signs of aging attributable to men (gray hair, beard, lines on the face) are considered distinguishing and attractive - yet, those same traits were viewed as "gross", "disgusting" and/or "boner killers" (scientific term) on women. I do not think these things, but that has been the narrative in my lifetime.
I'm not sure these rules apply anymore. These broads don't seem to age. Look at Donna D'Errico at age 56. Or Elizabeth Hurley at age 59. Or, as the title suggests, sexy-ass Salma Hayek at age 58, with the face, chest, and curves of a 30-year-old. I'd say that Salma Hayek at 58 is as, if not more, attractive than she was when she first burst onto the scene in Desperado back in 1995.
This is some voodoo-type shit (or adrenochrome) we're dealing with here. She's Benjamin Buttoning before our very eyes! I'm sure some of this might be the byproduct of makeup, plastic surgery, and the amazing filtering options available on even the most basic camera phones. Yet, I'm not convinced that explains this phenomenon in its entirety. If you look at the photos from Hayek's Instagram account, many do not appear to be heavily filtered or filtered whatsoever. I think these photos posted by Hayek help prove this point:
Unfiltered. Little makeup. Gray roots showing. This is a fairly close approximation of what Salma Hayek looks like without digital or tangible modification - fucking good for a 58-year-old.
Part of this formula, I think, includes our better understanding of the roles that diet, skincare, and sleep play in our overall health. These women live healthier lifestyles (thanks to their wealth) than their forebears, which shows in their faces. To that end, I thank "the science" for keeping women hotter, for longer. Thank you, science, and thank you to those who sacrificed their freedoms in the adrenochrome mining facilities! Happy Birthday, Ms. Hayek.
NY Post: I'm so sexy, a bride banned me from her wedding — I shouldn't be punished for being slim and pretty
You sure about that? You surrrrrrre about that? I mean, this gal is attractive and everything, but is she really "disinvite from my wedding" level hot? I don't mean to offend, but I have my doubts.
She looks a bit like an android if I'm being honest - down to the large synthetic silos bolted onto her chest. Yet, according to X-80085 (the bot name I just created), she was ready to serve as a bridesmaid until the bride said she “might attract too much attention" because of her slim frame and "it wouldn’t look good for [her] to be beside [the bride] at the altar all the time.”
Yeah, I dunno about this one, Jack. To me, there are only two explanations. Explanation #1 - this humanoid with harrowing howitzers is exaggerating the truth; or explanation #2 - the bride and every other member of the bridal party are very overweight and this areola'd automaton would make the rest of them look bad. To me, I don't think any bride would embarrass herself by actually admitting "Listen, I'm too fat and ugly and you're too skinny and hot, so you gotta go". That just doesn't seem like something a human would do.
That does, however, seem like a lie that a generative AI organism would offer up after datamining headlines to conjure up a story to drive viewers to her social media account. In other words, what I am suggesting is that an LLM (like Grok) might have become sentient, gone rogue, and tried to infiltrate humanity through thirst posting/marketing through tabloid media blogs.
Would that surprise you? At this point, all possibilities need to be considered.
As an update to a story we covered last week about a MAGA MILF who met Trump and was flattered when he said "wow" and then allegedly called her "beautiful" five more times - it would appear that she has the subject of more bullying.
This is, unfortunately, nothing new to Jen, who was the subject of our 2022 article titled Local MILF Bullied For Being Hot and whose battles with "haters" and "trolls" over being "a hot mum" has been thoroughly documented by the Daily Star and The Sun over the years.
This week, it would appear that Jen has been targeted and judged by jealous people for being a "hot mum" who refuses to stop wearing bikinis, despite having kids. This is a gross injustice, though we must ask the question - if the previous TEN stories on this subject yielded little progress in alleviating the bullying - what makes one think that the ELEVENTH such story will do any better? What Jen needs, if I may be so bold, is to partner with an outlet that will more vigorously make her case and push back against the Karens who seem intent to rain on her hot mum, bikini-wearing, parade. It just so happens that I know of such an outlet and would be willing to work with Jen to publish more effective propaganda free of charge (I assume The Sun and Daily Star charge for such access).
Nobody can present her case better than Flappr. Let's hope she considers my offer.
Daily Mail: OnlyFans models are targeted by online LGBTQ mob after posing in underwear with 'fake' bulges
Now THERE is a headline you never thought you read!
Essentially, these two (alleged?) human female p0rn actresses are tapping into the tranny p0rn market by stuffing synthetic silicone phalluses down their underwear in an attempt to pretend to be men who pretend to be women. This has angered the men who pretend to be women because the women pretending to be men who pretend to be women are . . . appropriating their gender?!?
Got all that?
Hoooooooooo boy. The irony! I mean, all individuals involved here are disgusting, but assuming that these gals are actual gals, I do respect the trolling taking place. It's pretty damn funny to see the mentally-ill population, who has ZERO issues with trans men taking scholarships away from biological females get up in arms over two broads pretending to be trans.
The funniest thing about this episode is that these ladies were discovered because they look too feminine! Can you imagine? Seeing these two women get this level of attention must have been devastating to the mentally ill crowd. Goodness, we live in really fucking bizarre times. This was funny, but I do want to vomi- wait a second . . . is that Al Pacino from Heat's music?!?
No no no no. NO! We're not doing that here. Sorry, folks, not happening.
Moving on.
Regular News!
Kamala Harris: debuted a new accent.
In what might be the most transparent display of racial pandering since Hillary Clinton told a black podcast that she never leaves home without hot sauce in her purse, Kamala Harris debuted a new accent that sounded more "black Baptist preacher" than "child of two PhDs, who grew up in California and Canada". The audacity of Code-Switching-Kamala was as stunning as it was inauthentic.
And lest anyone believe that I may be too hard on Kamala's dialect in the clip above, here is a side-by-side of the VP reciting the same stump speech in Pittsburgh only hours after delivering it in Detroit:
She's a communist reptile wearing a politician's skin, who will say or do anything to appear human to the throngs of NPCs in her audience. In a less political and gay era of entertainment, Kamala's pandering pronunciation of words would be the perfect fodder for late-night comedy shows. Sadly, nobody outside of those on X will ever see these clips because everybody knows how fragile her candidacy is and nobody in the corporate media wants to be the one responsible for tanking her campaign over a more than-deserved mockery. Sad!
Trump x Lex Fridman: the interview
Lex Fridman is a computer scientist and host of the Lex Fridman Podcast, where he's interviewed people like Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Kanye West, Benjamin Netanyahu, and many more interesting and prominent people. Fridman's podcast typically focuses on tech and world events and is generally pretty centrist and well-regarded among most people outside of those on the fringes.
Like with Theo Von and Adin Ross, I think it was a good idea for Trump to sit down with Lex because he reached an audience who never listened to him speak outside of soundbites cut by either sycophants or those who hate him (the media).
Unfortunately, I didn't think Trump performed all that well. Sure, there were a few good clippable moments, but if you listened to the whole interview, Trump sounded tired and unfocused. The former president did that thing where he talked about an issue like "Russia, Russia, Russia" without explaining what that meant. You and I know what he's talking about, because we're political junkies, but the average listener is uninformed and Trump would do himself a great service if he could coherently explain why it was a hoax, rather than repeating a catchphrase.
Then there were times when Lex lobbed a softball and Trump didn't make contact. One example that comes to mind is this perfectly framed question that was begging for a warm response:
“I have a lot of friends who are independent, many of whom like your policies, like the fact that you're a deal maker, like the fact that you can end wars, but they are troubled by what happened in the 2020 election and statements about widespread fraud and this kind of stuff, fake electoral scheme. What can you say to those independent voters to help them decide who to vote for?”
Trump responded with an unfocused relitigation of the fraud that he believes took place in 2020, rather than taking that opportunity to show a different side of himself - one that highlights how much he loves this country and its people, explains how to bridge divides, leads us out of the darkness and build a brighter future for everyone. Even if that's bullshit, it's the type of bullshit that independents want to hear. The remaining few undecideds in this election give zero shits about 2020 election fraud. They just don't.
Put another way, Trump has pandered on policy to try and attract more moderate voters to his cause. This is most evident on the issue of abortion, where Trump removed pro-life language from the GOP platform and vowed that he would not sign a national abortion ban. He has made these overtures at the expense of some of his most loyal supporters and yet, when speaking to moderates, his messaging in attempting to win over their hearts has remained blegh. If you're going to make this type of calculated gamble, you better make sure you execute. And I may just be grouchy from the illness I'm suffering from, but I felt like Trump blew an opportunity to reach new voters. Your experience may vary. **shrug**
Americans are fucking dumb: don't know the meaning of words.
In this latest iteration of "jeeeeez, we're so fucking dumb", this graph came across my feed on Tuesday and it made me want to "consume" an "enormous" amount of Clorox bleach and/or climb atop an "edifice" and jump down to "impale" myself upon a pit of spikes. This graph led me to go on this "tirade" about how we're just a country full of illiterate retards with "caverns" where our brains should be. Just look at this "travesty", which suggests that a staggering number of adults don't know the meaning of words such as "encumber", "compassion" or "fortitude". A respondent to this survey didn't know what "breakfast" meant! What a "calamity", these people vote and their vote counts the same as yours!
Now, I do not want to "conceal" the fact that this study was published in 1972. Yet, I don't want you to live in a "sanctuary" of delusion by thinking things have improved since then. I am "remorse" to inform you that, as of the 2010s, the vocabulary of college graduates has DECLINED from where it was in the 1970s! 50% of adults cannot read a book past the 8th-grade reading level!
Good grief, this is "ominous" news! Remember this the next time you venture into the "audacious" replies on social media! The person responding is likely a "matchless" moron! He probably don't read good!
The Other McCain: Rule Five Sunday: My Next Ex-Wife; Crazy People Are Dangerous
Robert Stacey McCain shares the devastating story of how Dallas police officer, Darron Burks, was executed by a "Moorish American":
"Tracing the history of this “Moorish” stuff — the false claim that black Americans are descended from Moroccans and therefore exempt from U.S. law because of some 18th-century treaty — is in some sense futile, because the people who fall for it are not going to be dissuaded by facts and logic (tools of the White Devil)."
Officer Burks was murdered in the line of duty while sitting in his squad car. The gunman walked up to Burks, engaged in a brief conversation, then pulled out a handgun and executed the rookie officer as he sat in his vehicle. Thankfully, this Moorish American was killed by police before he could harm anyone else.
Sad stuff.
Odds and ends
Flappr is "vapid Trump shill stuff now"
David Thompson shares a guide to finding ‘Pride’ in the taxidermy collection of Manchester Museum; fucking yikes.
Lauren Chen was indicted for running an alleged Russian influence operation; and got fired by The Blaze - very weird story.
CCP operative worked as an aide to Hochul and Cuomo; many such cases!
Barron Trump is an absolute UNIT; attended first day of college at NYU.
John McCain's son is very mad about Trump's visit to Arlington cemetery; was probably unaware that his father filmed a campaign ad there.
People debated the merits of raw milk for the better part of a week.
George R. R. Martin is worried about "fascism on the rise"; is never going to finish those damn books.
Justin Trudell, tried to eat two large pizzas in one sitting but failed.
Sports! Sports! Sports!
FOOTBALL IS BACK: Ravens suffer agony of de-feet; Chiefs win thriller by a toenail.
What a fucking game.
On the same day that infamous superfan "ChiefsAholic" was sentenced to 17.5 years in federal prison for robbing banks, the Kansas City Chiefs opened the 2025 season and their hunt for a third straight title with a win over the Baltimore Ravens by a fucking toenail.
On the final play of the game, down 7, Lamar Jackson scrambled and looked to have connected with Isiah Likely in the back of the endzone. Then instant replay showed that Likely definitely had a toe on the end line, negating the play and ending the game. It was the right call, but robbed us of a memorable ending as Ravens coach John Harbaugh had signaled that Baltimore was going to go for two and try and win the game in regulation. That would've been awesome.
It was a fun game nonetheless. The Chiefs had a little help from the refs and a lot of help from the Buffalo Bills, who sent Kansas City the pick used to draft their new weapon, Xavier Worthy. The rookie wide receiver debuted with two touchdowns last night:
Worthy is real fucking fast - he broke the NFL Combine record with a 4.21 40-yard dash. It's ponderous why any team, let alone one of their biggest rivals, would help the Chiefs draft a player they targeted, but many teams are run by retards, so . . . yeah, it's going to suck to watching this kid destroy the league with Mahomes.
The game was well played. Both teams look strong. Both teams look like they'll be playing deep into the winter, but the Ravens still seem to lack whatever it takes to win these types of games. Many people will remember the toe on the line that ended the game, but too few will recall the two throws missed by Lamar Jackson that could've won them the game, including this one to a wide-open Zay Flowers:
This miss was Trubisky-esque. Mahomes doesn't miss this throw. That's just kind of the difference here.
Barstool Sports: In the Most Momentous Development in the History of Communication, Bill Belichick Takes to Social Media
The Summer of Bill™, where the greatest football coach to ever live started dating a 24-year-old smokeshow, ripped Massachusetts' absurd tax laws and dunked on his haters at Tom Brady's roast, has come to an end and Coach Belichick is ready to get back to work. Unfortunately, for America, this fall "work" for BB means "football media analyst" instead of head coach of a football team. Yet, if Bill Belichick has taught us anything it is that you must "do your job". And that's what Coach Belichick is going to do - his job, as a football media superstar.
He's already embraced his new role. Belichick has already become better, looser, and more comfortable on TV - he's a delight to watch each week on Pat McAfee. Bill Belichick is going to steal the show on TV this fall because he's a man of character who will put in the effort necessary to perfect his craft. That's why he joined "InstaFace!!". I'm sure he doesn't want to be on social media, but that's what modern football media types must do these days.
Mark my words, BB is going to conquer social media the way he conquered the NFL. He's going to study eGirl trends, devise posting engagement bait strategies, and execute his game plan with ruthless efficiency. I wouldn't be shocked if we see Bill start thirst-posting on IG. This would drive women crazy (perhaps even impregnate them). I know that if a shirtless Bill Belichick popped across my feed, I'd be harder than Chinese calculus (did I just type that out loud?).
America needs more men willing to dedicate themselves to excellence. America needs more hard-nosed, strict, genius-level battle commanders. America needs more toxically masculine, leaders of men. America needs more Bill Belichicks. I wish I could vote for him for president.
No, I'm not joking. Belichick / Brady 2028.
This Song Owns: Titans might win the Super Bowl
In my NFL preview last week, I said that the Tennesee Titans "have a really bad roster, Will Levis might be good, but probably sucks; fuck them, they never should've fired Vrabel" but that was before I saw this video. This video, along with its imagery and lyrics, is very powerful.
"Tits up <pause> for the Titans. Tits out <pause> for the win" pleads creator @ryansgameshow, donning a faded Jevon Kearse jersey from 1999. The song continues, "When tits are down <pause> they go down swing-in. They swing left, then right, then left again". This is the type of battle cry that can propel a team to a dynastic run that lasts a generation.
I felt fairly confident about the Bears' chances in week one against the Titans before I heard this song. Now I am all but certain that my team is going to be thoroughly dominated by an inspired Titans team. My only hope is that Justin Simmons, super-charged by tits, does not end Caleb Williams' career on Sunday.
Please pray for Caleb. Please pray for me.
This supposed "Paige Spiranac rival" is named "Hannah Leiner". I have never heard of a "Hannah Leiner" before, so I seriously doubt she qualifies as a "Paige Spiranac rival". Nevertheless, my journalistic mission mandates that I investigate this claim and inform you, the public, as to its veracity. Let's take a look:
(Ich Bin Ein Ber-Leiner was pretty damn clever, you have to give me that)
Oh? How about that? This Hannah Lenier does present a fascinating face. Her cultural and social media footprint remains modest by comparison, so I don't think Hannah qualified for "Paige Spiranac rival" status yet . . . but she's solidly a "potential Paige Spiranac rival." That's a title held by Grace Charis and Hailey Ostrom - that's very elite company!
According to her bio, Ms. Leiner started playing golf as a tot, then at 16, she competed in the U.S. Amateur before playing Division 1 College Golf at FIU. That's impressive. Hannah is currently engaged to former New York Jets draft pick, and current Montreal Alouettes quarterback, James Morgan. She is very talented, works in golf media and kind of looks like a Meditteranean Paige Spiranac (though, given her surname, I'm pretty sure she is not of Medditeranean ancestry).
While she may not yet be a "Paige Spiranac rival" Hannah is a worthy addition to the ever-growing community of eGirl Sports Influencers. We might just build this all-eGirl Sports Influencer League after all!
We must investigate the literalness of this BSO headline (for journalistic purposes):
Yes, yes that's "(former) Hockey Goalie, Mikayla Demaiter" who is "posing seductively" while wearing a bikini and what appear to be "knee-high boots". That's literally what those photos depict. This is a literal BSO headline.
You know, it's been a while since Mikayla has appeared in this blog. Not for any particular reason, I think she might have just been posting a bit less over the summer and garnered less attention from boobie bloggers, like BSO. That changed this week as both BSO and The Daily Star wrote about this photo set from Mikayla. The Daily Star's blog about these photos was titled "'World's hottest ice hockey star' serves 'melons' for dinner but doesn't know how to wear tie", which raises a valid point - the way Mikayla is wearing those ties makes zero sense.
Look, Mikayla looks gorgeous in these photos, but those ties are a bit confusing. I've seen women wear ties as belts (cute!), or as regular ties (also cute), but never as random wrappings around the underbust and waist. They're not supporting anything! They're just kind of . . . there!? Oh well.
Finally, in a somewhat funny development, BlackSportsOnline has updated its website and changed the name of some of its tabs. When I visited the blog this week, the tab where the boobie blogs are located, which used to be titled "entertainment", is now hilariously labeled "groupie tales". I do not know why. I'm not sure how that title makes sense. Maybe this wasn't funny to you, but I have to search for content each week and it made me laugh. Never change, BSO.
Meme of the Week!
This week's top meme honor goes to @justcatmeme for bringing the BOOM to X. Do you know the family in the video above? I bet you've at least seen them eating chicken bakes or DOUBLE CHUNK CHOCOLATE COOKIES at Costco on Instagram or TikTok. You pretty much cannot escape them. They are omnipresent. They are inevitable. They are the Befumo Family (plus the Rizzler).
If you've seen them on X and hate them, blame @justcatmeme. Mittens saw their content and started posting it on his X account and slowly, but surely, people started to appreciate the absurdity of their shtick. Now you can't open the app without seeing AJ or Big Justice dancing, hitting baseballs, or stuffing their faces at the Costco cafeteria. The Befumos now hawk products in paid sponsored videos, do collabs with high-profile creators, and have appeared on Barstool. They are a social media family empire and Mittens helped make that happen.
In fact, Mittens is responsible for making many similar content creators blow up on social media. The skinny Italian guy without a jawline who eats, insults your sister, and obsessively drinks Diet Coke (calling it "DC")? That dude now has 2.6M followers on TikTok after Mittens started reposting his content to X. Twitch streamer, Carmaxlla, has gained an audience of 20K - built on Mittens teasing her in her comment section. The overweight kid who wanted to find a friend? Mittens (jokingly) mocked him and drove millions to his account - drawing hate from millions upon himself (including Tom Arnold for some reason) in the process. If you've seen some random TikToker go viral on X, Mittens is likely the reason why. Oh, and he is also the dude responsible for all those crying cat-eye memes.
So, this week's award isn't for any one specific meme, but for years of shaping internet culture. Mittens has been banned many times, he's been called every nasty name in the book, but he keeps coming back, keeps posting videos, and keeps ruining everyone's feeds with some of the oddest and cringiest stuff from around the internet. Mr. Mittens, we speak your name. Happy Birthday, King.*
I reached out to @justcatmeme for comment on receiving this week's award and here is what he shared with me for publication:
Hmph. Fascinating. So true.
*I'm not sure if Mittens celebrated his birthday this week, he often operates on several levels of irony, so he may just be trolling.
Some Flappr Blogs!
IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR, LEAVE A COMMENT AND LET US KNOW HOW WE DID!
Reading several days later, like normal. Thanks for some new follows and, feel better. Sucks not feeling it.
Loved it - feel better
Great edition! Thank goodness there's a way to circumvent the injustice served. ~~~ Angie
Free Comrade Bird!
A+ on the “agony of de-feet”. Lol