May 19, 2023

Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects - 05.19.23

So much to read, so little time.

Good thing for you, we've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of the most important things happening online. We will deliver T.I.T.S. (a coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe, for free, to our blog)!

VERY Important Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy News!

For the uninitiated, the Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy (the "DDMTE") is the marketplace for blogs that write stories about the photos that former Baywatch star, Donna D'Errico, has posted of herself on her Instagram that week (they are usually very bonkable).

Each week in Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, I cover this important market news to help keep you abreast of how invested bloggers are in covering Donna D'Errico posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram.

Why do I cover the DDMTE? Ehhh. . . I guess it's funny to me how so many blogs / newspapers will devote so much time on clickbait! It says a lot about the state of our media today! Also, Donna is very, very attractive!

So how did the DDMTE perform this week?

Look, folks. . . it wasn't good (only 4 blogs Donna D'Errico posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram).

I don't want to talk about it. I think this might be the last week I cover the DDMTE - but not for the reasons you might think.

It's not because interest in the DDMTE has cratered, it's because Donna D'Errico has won her battle over internet haters.

Yes, you see Donna claimed victory over the trolls this week, saying I’m Not Sure There Are Any Haters Left To Hate As Donna D’Errico Asks ‘Any Objections?’ On New White Bikini Post (an actual headline from YahooNews).

Fascinating. Let's investigate.

Yes, that does appear to be an accurate headline.

Long standing readers of this blog will know that we've been covering Donna's war with internet trolls for over two years, beginning with hate she received over a particularly patriotic bikini post for Independence Day. (Read: Bosomy Baywatch Beauty Bullied For Brandishing Bolt-Ons In Bikini)

It may be that I'm just being emotional right now (literally weeping) over Donna's triumph over adversity, but I just feel like this is the perfect time to put weekly DDMTE coverage to rest.

We stood on the front lines with Donna, fighting for her right to post photos of herself being hot on Instagram. . . and we fucking won.

This is not a time to dwell on a poor DDMTE performance, this is a time to celebrate how an Massively Milker'd MILF managed to conquer the haters and losers and come out ahead.

We are winning. We will win. All is well.

We salute you, Donna DD'Errico (intentional misspelling for comedic purposes), our daring, dairy-endowed debutant from Dolton, Alabama for your heroism. We also thank you for all you've done to push the MILF movement forward, both here and abroad.

With that, I bid adieu to my coverage DDMTE. . . unless I change my mind or can't think of a new recurring bit for next week. Which is entirely possible, so stay tuned!

Very Important News

Martha Stewart: is a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover girl.

So I know that some of you will say "marketing stunt" or "airbrushing" or "it's all plastic surgery and/or adrenochrome." To that I will say, yes the photos are airbrushed. Yes she probably some work done. And yes, she probably does consume adrenochrome harvested from kidnapped children.

But! You do have to give it to the old gal - she looks fucking fantastic in these photos. I'm sorry, but if you're 81 years old and can cause the internet to spend an entire 48 hour period talking about how badly people want to bang you . . . you've done something right.

I do wonder . . . would she make you a quiche afterwards? Would you get a take home basket of crafts made from pine cones and bee's wax? Could she maintain a 90 degree ang- oh nevermind, I'll keep this clean.

She's a grandmother, ffs.

Daily Mail: 'World's sexiest volleyball player' puts on a VERY busty display in a skimpy bikini as she poses for sizzling snaps while in Hawaii (it really is something when you can unilaterally claim that you're the "World's Sexiest <occupation>" and outlets will run with it. . . with that I henceforth declare that I am the "World's Sexiest Sundress Appreciator". Please address me accordingly.)

Daily Mail: Women are wearing a 'safety layer' over their outfits in public to deter 'creepy' men - with many labelling it 'sad but necessary' (let's investigate. . .)

Ok, a few things come to mind: 1) that tank she's wearing can barely be considered an article of clothing; 2) that top exposes cleavage, side boob and underboob - it is the epitome of a 'look at me top' so GTFO here with that "sad, but necessary"; 3) I thought subways we're a place where it was ok for schizo bums to poop and harass women?

The Sun: I got an underboob tattoo - it was ridiculous pain but that was temporary, swag is forever (ladies, , , don't tat up your tatas. They're perfect the way they are)

The Sun: I show underboob in my bikini on the beach - it makes the Karens uncomfortable (let's investigate. . .)

Lots of underboob activity going on this week. Underboob. Underboob. Underboob.

When did underboob become a thing?

When I was growing up, underboob was basically limited to wardrobe malfunctions and Maxim magazine. Maybe I'm getting old, but underboob is kind of weird and far inferior to regular, old-fashioned, titty cleavage.

I am an old-fashioned, Titty Cleavage Nationalist, and I'm tired of pretending otherwise.

She does have nice boobs, though.

The Sun: Britney Spears goes braless and nearly pulls down her underwear in wild new video (Good time to remember that a social media campaign, led by people who knew nothing about her medical files, is responsible for getting her conservatorship removed)

The Sun: I was vibing with this guy on a first date - it went from bad to worse (lets investigate. . .)

For those of you who don't click and watch the videos, I'll give you the TL;DW: dude matches with this (attractive) girl on Hinge and drives two hours to meet her. They go to the gym. They are "vibing". They get to dinner and he goes to the bathroom, comes out and tells her his nuts hurt really bad. Dude thinks he has testicular torsion and his nuts might fall off. They go to the hospital together. She is in the room while they ultrasounds this dude's nutsack. Turns out he doesn't have testicular torsion. This girl tells the ultrasound tech that this is their first date and thinks this story is funny.

Listen, this shit is NOT funny.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to have severe testicle pain EVER, let alone on a first date with someone I just met off of a dating app. I can't fathom how weird it would be to have my WIFE sit in on an ultrasound of my ballsack, let a lone a stranger for all intents and purposes. Then add on the fact that she's giggling with the hospital staff about how quirky it is that this happened on a first date.

This is a nightmare story. No laughing! Not funny!

The Sun: I’m 55 and still wear miniskirts - I don’t care for outdated 'rules' (this is what heroism looks like, folkssss)

Beautiful Woman Wearing Sundress, No Context Needed:

Daily Star: Fit gran 'banned from dating app for being too hot' – after bedding 720 lovers (we might need a total and complete shutdown of GILFs until we can figure out what's going.)

Daily Star: Model with 55-inch bum declares it's 'cellulite season' as she flaunts curves in shorts (declaration for 'cellulite season' received and . . . rejected. No thanks.)

NY Post: SI model Martha Stewart hosted 'key parties and told husband she cheated' (damn, Martha is a legit freak)

NY Post: Sports Illustrated faces backlash for trans pop star's swimsuit cover (another man taking an opportunity away from a woman. The patriarchy wins again!)

NY Post: My boyfriend cheated on me with a man — I felt 'relieved' (modernity and it's consequences)

NY Post: I gave in to my husband's threesome dream — as his 40th birthday gift

A quote from the article: “I pity him heading into his 40s consigned to sleeping with the same woman (me) for the rest of his life. I like what the threesome signifies: that we aren’t sliding quietly into middle age.”

I am routinely derided for being "puritanical" when it comes to sexual deviant behaviors, such as the one mentioned above, but the idea of having sex with your wife (and mother of your three children) and another woman is completely unappealing to me. Similarly, the idea that having sex with your wife for the rest of your life is somehow a pitiable state of existence is similarly bonkers to me.

The fact that you can find a woman who loves you, has borne you three children and is willing to have a life's worth of sex with you is, perhaps, the most masculine thing for which a man can aspire.

If you feel the need to have a threesome and your wife is onboard . . . good for you, I guess. Though, I do think people need to take a break from all the self-indulgent debauchery. Appreciate what you have for once and stop feeling like you're missing out on something.

You're not.

PLUS: Abby Shapiro returned to posting on Instagram and OWNED "rough mom days"!!!

Very Important Meme of the Week

What's that? National Review won meme of the week? What fucking universe is this? Is this the end times?!?

Perhaps. Yet, National Review has indeed won meme of the week.

The tweet above includes a screenshot from our video The Chinese Revolution - Good Thing, Bad Thing? (Part One), wherein Professor Jimbo proceeds to roast several conservative writers for looking like the offspring of George Will and random barmaids from across America. The segment then meanders into Jimbo's attempted crashing of a NRI function, wherein National Review writers, Michael Brendan Daugherty and Ramesh Ponnuru (among others), forcibly remove him from the festivities.

Watch:

So why is this meme funny? If you don't watch our videos and haven't followed Professor Jimbo's adventures in NRO's comment section. . . it likely won't be funny to you. But if you have followed our channel and Jimbo's ongoing "feud" with the conservative commentary class, then it's very fucking funny.

Look. . . I'll just be honest with you, I'm fucking vain. I can't help it, there was something very fucking cool to see that at least SOMEONE at National Review watched a video that we spent months of our lives on and has a good sense of humor.

10/10 Mr. @NRO Twitter account manager. Now make us an offer (a very generous one, please!) to purchase our videos so we can move on with our lives.

Other Important News

The Durham Report: dropped.

I'm not going to break down everything that's in the report, but it's conclusion was (among other things) that there was not sufficient predication to open a full fledged investigation against Trump and his associates. Basically, the FBI broke its own protocols and standards and that Crossfire Hurricane should've never happened.

No. Fucking. Shit.

It should concern you that a large portion of Americans (probably more than 50%, tbh) will still believe that Trump was Putin's puppet and that the Russians stole the election from Hillary Clinton. There is basically nothing that will change their minds because Rachel Maddow said so.

It should also concern you that basically none of the people responsible for pushing this hoax have faced any consequences. No journalist lost their job. No federal agent faced criminal charges. Very few reputations were ruined.

Trump spent the first two years of his presidency defending himself against the Mueller investigation. They basically ruined his presidency over something that Republicans, Democrats and the DOJ knew was false.

The nation suffered.

And yet, the nation snoozes on the biggest government scandal of our lifetimes.

Fox News: Fetterman's team caught trying to make him sound more coherent as he struggles through hearings (hi, good night, everybody)

NY Post: Dianne Feinstein suffered additional health complications as questions about her ability to serve swirl (No more 80 year old elected officials)

NY Post: Non-binary ex-Biden nuke official arrested for being 'fugitive from justice' (one might even conclude that this bald man with a bears, who dresses like a woman, might have some type of mental health condition!)

Marjorie Taylor Greene: is packing heat?

What a pervert.

Daily Wire: The Worst Political Scandal In American History? (yeah, probably)

Barstool: The NYPD Calls Bullshit on Harry & Meghan's 'Near-Catastrophic' 2-Hour Chase to Escape the Paparazzi (You should read Jerry Thornton at Barstool)

National Review: I Love Pete Buttigieg (Charles C.W. Cooke gets satirical; appears to be auditioning for Flappr. We'll be in touch, Chuck)

National Review: Daniel Penny Wasn’t a Vigilante (Nice to see Rich Lowry play a little defense for someone clearly being railroaded by the media and democrats)

The Washington Free Beacon: Hunter Biden's Shady Business Partners Called To Testify in His Arkansas Child Support Case

Can we take a second and appreciate cogliones on Lunden Roberts? She has Hunter Biden's baby. Hunter denies paternity. Rather than letting him get away without paying child support, Lunden gets fucking nasty. Sues him for paternity and wins. Gets Hunter to settle for 20k a month in child support.

"What's that Hunter? You say you can't afford the $20k per-month settlement we agreed upon and you want the court to reduce the payments for you? Ok, fucko, lets subpoena the shady art dealer you're (potentially) using to sell influence (and probably launder money) to your scumbag father."

This woman is going up against the CURRENT President's son and not backing down. Good for her.

Plus she's a MILF.

Lunden has big MMs to boot.

Zero Hedge: Bud Light Sales Crash "Getting Much Worse" In Latest Week Since Dylan Mulvaney Fiasco (so the news wasn't ALL bad this week)

Diogenes' Middle Finger: A Pair of Testicles With Glasses Talk Trump vs DeSantis (very funny)

Animal Magnetism: ANIMAL’S HUMP DAY NEWS

The Other McCain: I, For One, Welcome Our New Anti-White Racist Asian Academic Overlords; Rule 5 Sunday: Late Night With IJN Atago

The Most Libtarded Thing You'll See This Week:

The journos have become self-parody at this point. There was a time when memers were making edits to headlines from the Atlantic and they went viral because so many people thought they were real. Honestly, I would've thought this was satire if you asked me to assess the writing out of context.