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Writer's picturebartleby

Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects - 06.16.23

So much to read, so little time.


Good thing for you, we've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of the most important things happening online. We will deliver T.I.T.S. (a coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe, for free, to our blog)!

 

VERY Important Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy News!


For the uninitiated, the Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy (the "DDMTE") is the marketplace for blogs that write stories about the photos that former Baywatch star, Donna D'Errico, has posted of herself on her Instagram that week (they are usually very bonkable).


Each week in Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, I cover this important market news to help keep you abreast of how invested bloggers are in covering Donna D'Errico posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram.


Why do I cover the DDMTE? Ehhh. . . I guess it's funny to me how so many blogs / newspapers will devote so much time on clickbait! It says a lot about the state of our media today! Also, Donna is very, very attractive!


So how did the DDMTE perform this week?


It was bad, real bad. There were only 2 blogs written about Donna D'Errico posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram, making this the worst week in DDMTE history.


This makes me sad.


Not for myself, though I do enjoy trying to come up with an incredibly stupid narrative for this portion of the blog each week.


Not for you, though I assume you enjoy reading me try to come up with incredibly stupid narratives for this portion of the blog each week.


No, I feel sad for Donna, who is a hero, and continues to post heaters like this one, where she Tease[d] '50 Shades Of Donna' In Bondage Lingerie (an actual headline).

Yes, that does appear to be an accurate headline.


To be fair, I'm 99% sure this is actually a repost by Donna, who may be suffering from exhaustion after her countless battles with trolls and haters online.


We're not giving up on her, and neither should you. If Donna has proven anything to us since we first started covering the DDMTE, it's that she's resilient, steadfast in her clapping back at haters and determined to continue posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram.


Have a little faith in Donna. She'd have faith in you.

Donna is a Sundress Nationalism Appreciator!


As always, we will continue to monitor the DDMTE for further developments.

 

Very Important News


Daily Mail: Woman who says she's been told her 38JJ boobs are 'inappropriate' insists she won't get a breast reduction (Not all heroes are women who have 38JJ boobs and refuse to get breast reductions, but all women who have 38JJ boobs and refuse to get breast reductions are heroes. Yeah, I think my math checks out.)


Daily Mail: Woman reveals little trick that gives her a 'free boob job' in a bikini (This card carrying member of the IBTC thinks she invented the push-up bra. . . )

She is, however, extremely cute.


Daily Mail: Mum, 40, says she's a victim of 'hotphobia' and is shunned on the school run for wearing sexy outfits (We proudly stand with all mums suffering from 'hotphobia' and remind you to Support Your Local MILFs)



The Sun: I'm a slim thicc mum, folk say I'm in Turkey for sneaky op but I'm all natural (Ok, this is the second or third blog I've seen where women are being accused of getting boob jobs in Turkey. Is this a European thing? Do European women visit Turkey to inflate their umlauts?)


The Sun: My pal let her fiance choose their bridesmaid dresses - my boobs say it all (Would you look at that!?! The ginger-haired gal with gargantuan gourds that we discovered for our cloth-off Friday video is finally getting some love from smut journos! )

We're actually kind of proud of her!


No Context, Beautiful Woman Wearing Sundress:


The Sun: I have big boobs - ‘Karens’ shame me for my outfits in Target, they harass me (Is there anything more detestable than 'Karens' who shame large chested women for their outfits at Target? Perhaps, but these 'Karens' are high up on the list.)


The Sun: I shared a hot bikini snap & trolls said my boobs look like deflated car airbags (Hmm . . . let's investigate the accuracy of this headline.)

Headline Accuracy Rating: Not accurate, those are nice, big, boobs!


Daily Star: Professor accused of sex acts with dog told investigators he does it to 'blow off steam' (Green Subaru driving, liberal college professor fucks dogs and is a total degenerate? I'm shocked!)


Daily Star: 'I'm an OnlyFans model who's a bad ass with a good ass and I catch fish bigger than me' (Hmmm . . . let's investigate the accuracy of this headline.)

Headline Accuracy Rating: Extremely Accurate Headline


Daily Star: 'I'm a professional girlfriend – men pay me thousands to give them attention' (Fellas, , , , I guess this is better than boning a dog like that degenerate, liberal, Subaru driving college professor, but seriously - just find a real girlfriend, marry her and then waste your money on her.)


Daily Star: 'I'm trolled over my unibrows and haters tell me to die – but it won't stop me' (Hmmm. . . let's investigate the accuracy of this headline.)

Headline Accuracy Rating: Unibrow? What Unibrow? I Didn't Notice A Unibrow.


NY Post: Your boss can read all your Slack messages, even ‘private’ ones — here’s how (Here's a tip for fucking stupid people - your employer can, if they want, see literally everything you do on your on your work computer/phone/any device you have logged onto their network. Do not post anything on those devices.)


Meet Sarah: Friend of Flappr, pretzel enthusiast and Sundress Nationalism embracer.

The Flappr community is among the best ever assembled.


NY Post: I got a BBL from an infamous doctor — I woke up looking like Shrek (When you're bored one day, search "PPP" (which I believe stands for ''properly paid & procured) and "BBL". Let me know what you find!"


NY Post: Teacher fired for filming raunchy TikTok dances in classroom (A good reminder that, while you don't want your kids taught by gender-schizos, you don't want them taught OnlyFans THOTs either.)


PLUS: Abby Shapiro is expecting her second child!!!!!

Yes, we have a little fun with Abby, from time to time - but, to be clear, we genuinely like and appreciate Abby and the messages she promotes.


She seems like a genuinely good person who attracts attention from some of the worst people on the internet.


We're very happy for Abby and her husband! Babies are a Good Thing!


Go subscribe to her YouTube Channel, support her work!

 

Very Important Meme of the Week

The namesake for Flappr's annual @Richard_Harambe Excellence in Memeing Award becomes the first memer to win back-to-back "meme of the week" honors.


I am actually kind of shocked that this satirical reconceptualization of Trump's fast food banquet didn't get more love from the Twitter community. It's really kind of the perfect meme - an iconic photo that people instantly recognize, edited to address and mock a current topic.


Actually, now that I think about it . . . I do get why people didn't give this tweet more likes and RTs. It features a man with breast implants and that's very gross. Probably not something you want showing up on your feed as a retweet.


Still, the meme works.


10/10, would not motorboat.

 

Other Important News - Trump Indictment Special Edition


Donald Trump: is, too often, his own worst enemy.

Here is a list of caveats before I begin: (1) This story comes from WaPo, so I have doubts; (2) I like Tom Fitton and Judicial Watch; (3) The Biden DOJ is politicized and absolutely did not have to prosecute this case; (4) Donald Trump's presidency was royally fucked over and undermined by the intelligence community, the democrats and his own party.


Ok, with all that out of the way. . . WHAT THE FUCK?!


Why would you ignore the advice of your attorneys!?! Why would you listen to Tom Fitton, who is not an attorney?! Why would you store boxes in the bathroom?! Why would you make this so easy for them?!?!


This shit is exhausting. This guy makes it extremely hard to defend him.

 

Other Important News


Joe Biden: held a religious ceremony at the White House for our new state religion:

The symbolism here is not a mistake. They knew what they were doing. They didn't care. They don't care. They'll do it again and again until you're worn down to a nub.


Fuck Joe Biden.


Paul Ryan: says that culture war issues are "too polarizing"; reminds everyone how we arrived at a place where the President calls random gay and trans people the "most courageous he’s seen" and hangs the pride flag more prominently than the American flag.

Yeah, I shared my own meme. It's my blog. This meme was a banger. Get over it.


DeSantis quote: "But I would ask them: If it’s inappropriate to do that at the White House — which I certainly think it is — why do you want to have that curriculum jammed into a second-grader’s classroom?"


He's right, but I would've added on - "what's the difference between what the Biden admin banned at the White House and reading 'Gender Queer' to third graders?"


Joe Biden: wants to build a train across the ocean.

"I'm gonna get in trouble" . . . from whom? Who runs the show over there?



There are a LOT of wh*te wom*n who fake having cancer. I don't think it's motivated by money, I think it's motivated by a need to be the main character of everyone else's lives (i.e., they need to be the center of attention).


Daily Wire: How Democrat Party Infighting Could Hand RFK Jr. The First Two ’24 Primary Contests Over Biden (This will not happen. The DNC would never allow this to happen. Stop thinking this is possible.)


The Kids: are, perhaps, maybe, possibly, alright?

I've always believed that kids are prone to rebel against the orthodoxy. Well, LGBTQCIA+ Ramadan is now, unfortunately, the orthodoxy. Is 2023 the start of something? A pushback, perhaps? Probably not, but if and when the time comes, that pendulum swing might be a very, very, spicy one.



The Washington Free Beacon: Biden's Energy Department Counts Chinese Solar Industry Rep as Diversity 'Ambassador' (Reminder: Hunter Biden also had several deals in China as well)


Zero Hedge: Jury Orders Starbucks To Pay $25 Million To Manager They Fired For Being White (The fastest way to excise DEI initiatives in corporate America is to start filing lawsuits for discrimination. The laws on the books protect against discrimination towards white people too. )


Diogenes' Middle Finger: Shed No Tears for Two Sleazy Leftist Media Publishers (Shed no tears for any journo, ever.)


Animal Magnetism: BREAKING NEWS (Congrats!)



The Other McCain: Another Day, Another Deadline and Approaching the Nadir of Wokeness (Lord, I hope so . . .)


The Most Libtarded Thing You'll See This Week:

Reminder, the regime wants you to believe that the same group that has its flag hung in the place of prominence at the White House, is celebrated by every major corporation in America and is ridiculously overrepresented in media . . . is marginalized.

 

Important News, BUT Sports


The Las Vegas Golden Knights: are Stanley Cup Champions.

After picking the Rangers to beat the Hurricanes, they lost.

After picking the Panthers to beat the Golden Knights, they lost.

Pray that I don't pick your team to win something.


The Denver Nuggets: are NBA Champions.

I don't even watch basketball, but it's hard not to love this literal Serbian golem. He's just a fucking dude, bro, who is living his best life and enjoying White Boy Summer.




Novak Djokovic: has won more Grand Slams than anyone in history.

We're living in a moment of Serbian sports supremacy.


Barstool: Disney Reportedly Unknowingly Cast A Porn Star In Its Live Action Remake Of "The Little Mermaid" ("Unknowingly". . . I have doubts. I'm guessing the staff at Disney would threaten a walk out if the company dared to shame a sex worker.)


Barstool: The Lions Are Apparently Being Asked To Do A 2nd Season Of Hard Knocks Because Every Other Team Keeps Saying No (I support this - the Lions were entertaining last year and that franchise could use a little love. I will also die laughing if they disappoint their loser fanbase after getting their hopes up last year.)


As I've mentioned before, the phrase "The Paige Spiranac of <blank>" gets thrown around a lot these days and that label is almost always applied inappropriately and to unworthy candidates. Note that I said "almost" always because I am going to anoint Agata Centasso as "The Paige Spiranac of Italian Women's Soccer".


I mean Holy Stromboli . . . get a load of this Silicone-Enhanced Sicilian Sweetheart and her Holy Roman Rib Cushions!

Mama mia! Agata might singlehandedly get me to pay attention to women's soccer. That's a lie, but still - she's really, really, pretty. She even shaved her mustache! (I'm kidding, I love you Italian broads!)


Flappr is now an Agata Centasso appreciation blog.


Outkick: Antonio Brown’s Arena League Team Kicked Out Of League, Is Anyone Surprised? (hmph, this Antonio Brown fella seems a little unreliable, like someone you wouldn't want to have owning a team in your league)


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Man that's a great video. It's nearly as good as the video I shared a couple weeks back of the English mum who went face down / ass up in front of a bunch of middle schoolers.


This video really has it all - the fall, the desperate clinging to the rails, the pants flying off, the thong, the faceplant and the rolling off the treadmill.


This woman actually posted this to her own Instagram. What a hero. What a woman. What a good sport.


BSO: White Sox Tim Anderson On His Girlfriend Harrassing His Wife Messing Up His Batting Average (Nobody suffers quite like professional athletes with multiple sex partners.)


BSO: Hockey Goalie Mikayla Demaiter Showing Off Massive Boobs In A Tiny Top (Alright. . . let's check in on Mikayla.)

I mean, yeah, holy shit. . .


My favorite quote from the article: "[s]he appeared to announce her ice hockey retirement in 2020." Mikayla is 22 years old. I'm not sure you can consider a 22 year old not being able to play professionally as "retirement", but what do I know?


Paige Spiranac: is the All-American Girl.

She's really the best. Go support her stuff.

 

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1 Comment


Jerm
Jun 18, 2023

Proof of life

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