Jun 9, 2023

Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects - 06.09.23

So much to read, so little time.

Good thing for you, we've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of the most important things happening online. We will deliver T.I.T.S. (a coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe, for free, to our blog)!

VERY Important Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy News!

For the uninitiated, the Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy (the "DDMTE") is the marketplace for blogs that write stories about the photos that former Baywatch star, Donna D'Errico, has posted of herself on her Instagram that week (they are usually very bonkable).

Each week in Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, I cover this important market news to help keep you abreast of how invested bloggers are in covering Donna D'Errico posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram.

Why do I cover the DDMTE? Ehhh. . . I guess it's funny to me how so many blogs / newspapers will devote so much time on clickbait! It says a lot about the state of our media today! Also, Donna is very, very attractive!

So how did the DDMTE perform this week?

Well, many people speculated how Donna would respond to the attacks levied at her last week by the LAME STREAM MEDIA via the posting of unauthorized photos of her walking down the street sans makeup.

I myself suggested that Donna might (should've) clapped back at the trolls by re-posting her now iconic stars and stripes bikini (see below) with a witty caption about how the haters are losers that will never keep her deter her from posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram.

Lo-key pretty clever that she calls it her "trigger bikini".

Alas, Donna was too disciplined to clap back at the haters this time around. Donna didn't take the bait. Donna didn't give these trolls the satisfaction of letting them know they even exist.

No, this week, Donna D'Errico loaded up her lunch pail, threw on her yellow hard hat and went back to work doing what she does best. You see, this week Donna D'Errico turned Her Stockings Into A See-Through Dress and posted it to her Instagram. Fascinating, let's investigate.

Yes, that does appear to be an accurate headline.

Folks, , , , what Donna is doing here is providing an example to all MILFs for how to handle a crisis. You don't let the haters get to you. You don't let the haters see you sweat (unless its in a photo of you, on a beach, in a bikini, and the sweat is on your boobs). You just show up and do what you do best - post photos of yourself being hot on Instagram.

Final number of blogs written this week about Donna D'Errico posting photos of herself being sexy on Instagram: Ten, including one from Seher, a Norwegian outlet I needed to translate to English.

Last week, I suspended the New York Post and the Daily Mail for publishing salacious smears against Ms. DD'Errico (intentional misspelling for comedic purposes). This suspension meant that I did not share and wild or spicy links from their outlets, as I customarily do. Since they have kept their filthy journo mouths shut this week, I have decided to lift this suspension - which will make my life easier . . . since the NY Post and Daily Mail publish some of the wildest shit on the internet these days.

As always, we will continue to monitor the DDMTE for further developments.

Very Important News

Megan Fox: reminds the world that she's an absolute smoke show.

Ppl forget that Megan Fox was, pretty much, the hottest woman on the planet for a few years. Back in 2008, she was voted the most beautiful woman in the world by FHM. Then came some weird marriages and boyfriends, poor career choices and then she kind of fell from the public consciousness.

Oddly enough, she popped up for the first time in a while last month when she revealed that she suffers from "body dysmorphia", stating that "[she] doesn't see [herself] the the way other people see me" and that "[t]here's never a point in my life where I loved my body, never, ever."

I mean, I know her thumbs look suspiciously like big toes, but what the hell does she think she looks like? She has to know that she doesn't look like Lizzo, right? She's smoking and always has been.

I also think it's fascinating to see the way the media treats Megan's "body dysmorphia" and the way they treat people suffering from alleged "gender dysphoria". One is a cited as a mental health condition, while the other is treated as proof that genders don't exist.

I'll let you figure out which goes with which. Funny that.

Anyways, Megan, now a full-fledged MILF, is back and that's a good thing.

Welcome back, Megan.

Daily Mail: I have naturally big boobs and I get so many comments - creepy men stare and people make rude remarks (a reminder that Big Naturals Need Your Support)

Daily Mail: OnlyFans model tries no bra challenge and asks followers for their verdict (let's investigate. . .)

Funniest response from the comments: "Maybe make a vid of u accidentally falling into water while coincidentally having a white top on? just accidentally tho👍"

Dudes will never stop coming up with innovative ways to enjoy boobs. Can't happen.

The Sun: I’m in the itty bitty committee – I was today years old when I learned a bikini top hack that makes boobs look bigger (Itty bitty titty ladies, , , a piece of unsolicited advice - embrace your tiny tatas, have pride in them, wear things that accentuate them. Confidence is king.)

The Sun: I used to just accept my hairy body but now I absolutely love showing it off – people tell me to shave but I never will (Let's investigate. . . Wait, what? Really, brain? We're investigating this? Why? Fuck, alright. . .)

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

Why did I investigate this? I figured she probably had some pit hair or something . . . never imagined she'd have Rachel Dolezal in a leg lock down there.

I am sorry. I am disgusted. I am sorry. Fuck. What are we doing here?

No Context, Beautiful Woman Wearing Sundress:

No better palette cleanser than with a beautiful woman in a sundress.

The Sun: I’m a midsize mom and baddie – I took a ‘hot girl’ vacay with my bestie and we slayed in short shorts and swimsuits (I celebrate MILFs, but don't have much use for adults who use zoomer slang unironically. This is an L for me (fwiw, I'm using L ironically here).)

Heather Graham: is 53 and still looks amazing.

15 year old me just had an aneurysm.

Daily Star: Model once 'offered $1m for sex' dons tiny bikini as she opens up on recent 'struggles' (The dystopian future we've all feared is here and it's powered by white-woman feminism)

Daily Star: Miss BumBum 2023 models put perky butts to good use in viral booty challenge (Let's investigate. . .)

That does appear to be an accurate headline.

Daily Star: 'I was trolled over my boobs but now make fortune flaunting them with swinger boyfriend' (It's worth saying again - the dystopian future we've all feared is here and it's powered by white-woman feminism)

NY Post: How to spy on your exes’ Instagram Stories without them knowing (here's a tip - just don't do that and move on with your life. You'll be much happier that way.)

Meet Vanessa: Friend of Flappr and Vitamin D enthusiast.

The Flappr community is among the best ever assembled.

NY Post: 'Horny' Mark Consuelos reveals kink he performs in bed with Kelly Ripa (Apparently, they had sex over FaceTime once. **shrug**)

PLUS: Abby Shapiro OWNS misconceptions people have over married people's sex lives!

We love you, Abby.

Go subscribe to her YouTube Channel, she just posted a new video!

She folds laundry! She talks about acne! She is just kind of pleasant and sweet!

Very Important Meme of the Week

The namesake for Flappr's annual @Richard_Harambe Excellence in Memeing Award takes home meme of the week for this very simple, but effective, photo edit.

More often than not, the best memes are the ones that require the least amount of effort. Here, Doc slapped a Bud Light can on a photo he probably found by searching "helicopter forest fire".

It works. It connects two topical concepts (Bud Light and Canada burning down). It communicates the joke and the message without having to say a single word.

@Richard_Harambe is a legend and remains at the top of his game.

10/10 am sort of rooting for the fire, here.

Other Important News - Trump Indictment Special Edition

Donald Trump: indicted? again? it seems so?

*sigh*

When I finished today around 6:30 or so, I felt a tinge of satisfaction. "Another week in the books, old chap! People are gonna love this one (except for the furry crotch lady)." I then opened my phone, pulled up Twitter and learned that Donald Trump was being indicted, again, this time for mishandling of documents, obstruction of justice and for violation of the Espionage Act (wtf?).

This is ugly. This leads nowhere good. This was not necessary.

Joe Biden was not elected to be a transformative president. Joe Biden was elected because normies assumed (incorrectly) that 'Ol Joe was an empathetic grandpa who would cool things down after a summer of riots and lockdowns.

Normies wanted a caretaker president.

Biden had an opportunity to pass some bills, spend money we don't have on shit we don't need and then fuck off to Delaware to leave us all alone. To be honest, I think most Americans would've appreciated a chance to catch their breath.

But Joe Biden chose to make things more partisan, to make things worse.

Regardless of what you think of Donald Trump, these charges are not worth the damage they will inflict upon the country. Whether or not these charges are valid (I don't know and neither do you, since we haven't seen any evidence), we have, for the entire history of this country, avoided situations where the power of the government was used to punish high-ranking political opponents (let alone a former president!).

Whether you like it or not, that's been standard. Sometimes "for the good of the country" is standard. Sometimes "for the good of the country" is right answer.

This did not need to happen. Not for the mishandling of documents. Not based on what we know (so far). But it did happen and we've now entered a new phase of ugly politics with ugly new rules and ugly outcomes.

I hope I live long enough to see how the other side enjoys the new game they've created.

Other Important News

Joe Biden: was, coincidentally, I'm sure, accused of accepting a 5 million dollar bribe in connection with Hunter Biden's schemes with Burisma.

Hunter Biden: still the smartest guy Joe Biden knows.

New York City: is orange, due to Canadian forest fires.

Yeah, I shared my own meme. It's my blog. This meme was a banger. Get over it.

Fox News: Marine veteran accused of fatal subway chokehold reveals why he stepped in (The homeless guy threatened to kill everyone on the train, this guy took him seriously, he tried to stop him, not kill him, but the guy ended up dying.)

Fox News: Asian-American with 1590 SAT blames affirmative action for rejection from elite colleges (I mean, yeah, probably.)

NY Post: Harrowing video shows Syrian refugee stabbing kids on French playground, including toddler in stroller (Remember, the real tragedy here is the potential backlash against peaceful Muslims. . .)

Daily Wire: Matt Walsh Undercover Investigation Catches Trans Health Care Providers ‘Rubber-Stamping’ Sex-Change Surgeries

This is an absolutely wild story, which I will try to quickly summarize. Gregg Re, former head writer for Tucker Carlson, called up a clinic pretending to be gender dysphoric, to see how much effort would be required to obtain a letter approving him for an orchiectomy - a procedure to have one's nuts surgically removed.

It turns out that it's not very hard!

Without ever having met Gregg, a nurse practitioner, based solely on a video call, approved him for castration within 22 minutes! No, not satire! No, not a joke!

Here is the thread. Watch the videos. Read the tweets. Gregg is an absolute mad lad and this stuff is terrifying.

Barstool: The President of PETA Says She Wants to Be Eaten in a 'Human BBQ' When She Dies (You should read Jerry Thornton at Barstool)

National Review: Democrats Are Taking an Enormous Risk (The one in which Charles C.W. Cooke makes the mistake of thinking the Democrats don't already know this and absolutely don't care)

National Review: Student Borrowers Are Livid They Might Have to Pay Back Their Loans (The one in which Noah Rothman makes the mistake of thinking that Biden, and not Republicans / SCOTUS, will feel the wrath of young voters. The media will absolutely not allow people to blame Biden.)

The Washington Free Beacon: Biden's Energy Department Counts Chinese Solar Industry Rep as Diversity 'Ambassador' (Reminder: Hunter Biden also had several deals in China as well)

Zero Hedge: GM Joins Ford In Switching To Tesla Charging Standard For Next Generation EVs (Eagerly awaiting EVs to take their place along side "beyond meat" as failed progressive ideas forced upon Americans)

Diogenes' Middle Finger: What's a Republican Primary Race Without the Irrelevant Rino Turds (Very funny)

Animal Magnetism: ANIMAL’S HUMP DAY NEWS

Thompson, blog: Trying It On

The Other McCain: What Counts as ‘Hate’?; Death by ‘Mommy Makeover’?; and Late Night With Rule 5 Sunday: Double-Scoop Swimsuit Edition!

The Most Libtarded Thing You'll See This Week:

You know, it's telling that they have so little confidence in their ideas that they resort to taking something like wild fire smoke from Canada (which may have been caused by arson) and using it as evidence of "climate change"

Also, RIP to your cancelled picnic. So sorry you had to deal with that.

Important News, BUT Sports

Zion Williamson: announced that his girlfriend was pregnant and then got dragged by an "alleged squirter" who claims she had sex with him the week prior.

There is a lot to unpack here.

Zion Williamson came into the NBA with substantial hype and expectations. Since his rookie year four years ago, Zion has played in only about a third of the games for the Pelicans. Zion can't stay on the court and perhaps we now know why . . . dude is a literal dick machine off the court.

Here's what I want to know - if you're Zion, and you KNOW that you bang strange on the regular, how do you let your girl post the baby announcement on her Instagram? In that scenario, you have to know that the "alleged squirting" porn star you just clapped is going to go ballistic on you and ruin your shit on an epic scale. The proper move here is to tell your baby mama that you're a very private person and you don't want to let the public know about the baby. "Sorry, baby, let's just keep this one among our friends and family. There are a lot of crazy people out there and I don't want them to target us".

Boom. Done. If she gets mad, you use your tens of millions to buy her a new Bugatti or whatever.

Instead, Zion's girl posts the photo and the "alleged squirter" porn star goes scorched earth on Twitter:

“I let you f–k me so many times without condom and this is what u do to me a hood rat that does cpn.”

"You putting my life in danger f–king all these hoes raw.”

“I let you spit in my mouth last week when we f–ked"

All this could've been avoided if he just bought his baby mama a new Bugatti. . . or just didn't stick his dick in everything that walks (and squirts, allegedly).

Final thought: Robert Littal of Black Sports Online, a regular on Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, had perhaps the best descriptor of any human to ever live: "Alleged Squirter". I'm not sure I can ever top that, but I am going to try and use similar labels in the future.

Hockey:

After picking the Panthers to win the Stanley Cup, the Panthers are down 2-0.

Update: the Panthers just won in overtime; now only down 2-1!

Barstool: Stephen A Smith Unleashed An All Time Terrible Take Quake By Suggesting Nikola Jokic Doesn't Have A Dominant Post Game (Stephen A. Smith has never been popular for his knowledge of sports)

Barstool: The New York Mets Are A Luxurious Dumpster Fire (the NY Mets have a brand and they stick to that brand . . . it's kind of wholesome, in a way.)

Barstool: We Lost A True Legend Today: The Iron Sheik Passes Away At The Age Of 81 (I am not into WWE stuff, but I did listen to Howard Stern during my formative years (before he became an insufferable hypocrite) and the Iron Sheik was a frequent guest on the Stern show back in the early aughts. When the Iron Sheik would appear on the show, he was basically a caricature of himself. He would scream a lot. He would call people f*ggots and threaten to sodomize people.

It was pretty funny!

Pretty sure that Howard wouldn't allow this on his show anymore.

RIP, Sheiky baby.

Outkick: Troy Aikman Spotted With Much Younger Woman In Italy (hmph, always assumed Aikman was gay. . . go figure)

Outkick: Soccer Player Ana Maria Markovic’s Summer Is Off To A Hot Pink Start (a name I have not heard of yet, let's investigate . . .)

Yes, that does appear to be an accurate headline.

BSO: LSU Gymnast Elena Arenas Flaunt Her ‘Goodies’ A Tiny Pink Top, Tight White Shorts And Thigh Boots (BSO headlines are very literal)

BSO: Aaron Rodgers Dating Taylor Swift (this is literally not true, but BSO just went with it anyways - gotta respect the hustle)

Kirk Minihane: is a trivia champion.

Your Weekly "The Paige Spiranac Of": Meet Rachel Stuhlmann, The 'Paige Spiranac' Of Tennis

Very pretty, but she's not on "The Paige Spiranac Of" Level, imo.

Actual Paige Spiranac: wants you to remember to LIV, love and laugh.

First thought - Yowza, that's quite a top she's wearing and good lord, I think they're getting bigger. Go support Paige, who seems to have a good sense of humor and enjoys fun.

Second thought - is there any bigger cunt than the PGA Commissioner after invoking 9/11 to shame golfers who left for the Saudi-owned LIV Tour, only to then, within less than a year, agree to merge with the Saudi-owned LIV Tour?

Third thought - is there any group of people more detestable than sports journos? These absolute goblins went on and on about the LIV Tour and how dangerous it was to do business with the Saudis and I promise you . . . none of them will stop watching or covering golf now that the two leagues have merged. Sports journos are, somehow, worse than regular journos.