Torts Illustrated - Shaun is a King

Editor's Note: In effort to expand our coverage on topics you care about, we've convinced Jarvis Best to become our Chief Legal Correspondent to help make hide and/or hair of legal matters of the day . . . though we must insist that any opinions shared herein should not be taken as legal advice or advice of any kind, really.

We needed good news, and oh boy, did Christian social justice activist Shaun King deliver! With bombs flying everywhere and a ground invasion imminent, King freed two of the hostages taken by Hamas in what was almost certainly a daring rescue.

Thank you, (Shaun) King!

For those of you who don't know Shaun King, he came to prominence by being the first person on Twitter to point out that Black Lives--in his opinion--Mattered.

This was back during the dark days of the Trump administration when cops were brutalizing black people left and right. However, using the power of His tweets, Shaun King put a stop to all that nonsense AND made himself super rich.

That's a win-win!

You kids might not remember, but racism and police brutality used to be a big problem in this country until it went away around January 20, 2021 or so. The News used to report DAILY about the indignities and violence meted out by the police, but all of a sudden--because of Shaun King--they stopped. Experts are elated by this development but warn that the police might start being racist again in January 2025 depending on how next year plays out.

Anyway, fresh off of solving racism, King decided to bring a small measure of peace to the middle east by freeing some hostages. Once they were free, the ever-humble King thanked the hostages and their family for being such big fans of his.

A slight controversy arose when the former hostages noted that they had never heard of Shaun King before and he had nothing at all to do with their release. We must understand though, it is common for people who have been through a traumatic experience to have memory issues, so we can put that aside for now.

But of course, the right wing media POUNCED on the story, cruelly taking the side of the hostages and noting the lack of evidence that King had anything to do with their release. As if Shaun King just MADE THE WHOLE THING UP to get attention.

Like he could even be capable of such a thing!

Hey media, did you know that there was another king in the holy land who tried to free the captives, only to be rejected by the very people he came to save? And did you know that he too was a Christian social justice activist who didn't like bringing too much attention to himself?

Makes you think.

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