So much to read, so little time.
Good thing for you, we've curated our own weekly digest of links from around the internet entitled "Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects" to help keep you abreast of the most important things happening online. We will deliver T.I.T.S. (a coincidental acronym) to your inbox every Friday (if you subscribe, for free, to our blog)!
VERY Important Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy News!
For the uninitiated, the Donna D'Errico MILF Thirst Economy (the "DDMTE") is the marketplace for blogs that write stories about the photos that former Baywatch star, Donna D'Errico, has posted of herself on her Instagram that week (they are usually very bonkable).
Each week in Tremendously Intriguing Topical Subjects, I cover this important market news to help keep you abreast of how invested bloggers are in covering Donna D'Errico posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram.
Why do I cover the DDMTE? Ehhh. . . I guess it's funny to me how so many blogs / newspapers will devote so much time on clickbait! It says a lot about the state of our media today! Also, Donna is very, very attractive!
So how did the DDMTE perform this week?
We saw another steady, albeit, unremarkable performance this week, with the DDMTE matching last week's EIGHT blogs written about Donna posting photos of herself being hot on Instagram.
I have tell you, the disrespect is starting to piss me off.
Donna D'Errico did her part last week, posting a photo of herself in a Tiny Princess Leia Bikini For Sexy ‘Star Wars’ Day Celebration (actual headline).
WHAT MORE DO YOU SCUMBAG NERD BLOGGERS WANT?!?!
I'm sorry, that photo was perfect blogger thirst bait. Posting a scorcher of herself in the Leia bikini on Star Wars Day was the perfect marketing play from Donna D. She looks amazing, she's wearing peak nerd fantasy attire and this photo deserved more DDMTE coverage than it received.
I'm frustrated on her behalf and on behalf of all DDMTE market enthusiasts.
Do you think Donna wanted to wear that garish fanboy bikini? I would venture a guess that she did not, but she decided to anyways because she knows that she has a fucking job to do and that job is to post photos of herself being hot on Instagram for you, me and America.
The bloggers did not hold up their end of the bargain. Absolute scum. I blame Joe Biden.
If this disgraceful lack of appreciation continues, I may just stop covering the DDMTE altogether. Donna D deserves better. Just look what she posted as I was writing this week's edition:
DDMTE MAINTAINS ROCK SOLID FUNDAMENTALS!
The stagnation in the DDMTE is not a Donna D'Errico issue, it's a blogger issue and it's time they start being held accountable. If we don't see improvements coming soon, I may have to call for investigations.
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, BLOGGERS!
As always, we will continue to monitor the DDMTE for further developments.
Very Important News
Elizabeth Hurley: is 57 years old and posted these to Instagram. . .
Good lawd.
Daily Mail: Finland's party-loving PM Sanna Marin, 37, announces she is divorcing her husband after 19 years together (2023 Milker of the Year Award Honorable Mention - IBTC Division is back on the market)
Daily Mail: Rhian Sugden displays her eye-popping assets in a very busty bikini as she shares throwback snaps from her idyllic holiday in Crete (I have no idea who Rhian Sugden is but. . .)
. . . that does appear to be an accurate headline.
The Sun: I chose a good sex life over becoming a mom… I will regret it forever (Essentially, this woman stayed married to a man who DIDN'T want children, but DID give her consistent god-tier-dickings. She now regrets that decision and I do not blame her. Start having families, FFS)
It would appear that her bottom is wider and longer than it is plump, this is not unusual. I'd argue such a bottom is very common among French women. Maybe she's French?
The Sun: What are the best sex positions for beginners? (this article lists out basically every sex position that normal people utilize. I would hate to see what the sexperts come up with for intermediate and advance participants)
The Sun: I'm a 34DD - I always wanted big boobs but now I can't wear triangle bikinis (a reminder that these women suffer for their gifts and Big Naturals Need Your Support)
The Sun: Porn star Mia Khalifa exposes OnlyFans DMs where she 'degrades men' (fellas, , , , you don't have to do this to yourselves)
Random Thought, Apropos of Nothing: when is the official start of Sundress Season?
As the unofficial, self-proclaimed, czars of Sundress Nationalism, is it incumbent upon Flappr to declare the beginning of Sundress Season? Something to ponder. . .
Daily Star: Mormon mum who earns fortune on OnlyFans turns heads in blue lingerie set (the mom from Smoking Mormon MILF Martyred For Massive Milkers gets another blog written about her. . . impressive stuff)
Daily Star: 'I went to London's first sex restaurant and they put a huge dildo in my pasta'(what a fucking headline)
Daily Star: I sell vagina lollipops for £35 – people think it's crazy but I've made a fortune' (fellas, , , please have a little self-respect, don't buy lollipops that a woman shoved up her vagina)
Daily Star: Model with '1,000 boyfriends' has created 'sexy' AI clone to date for $1 per minute ( you may live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension. . .)
Outkick: Italian OnlyFans Model Says She Made Content With A Priest (leave it to the fucking Italians to normalize priests having their strombolis stroked on OnlyFans)
Whoopi Goldberg: wants you to know that she's not wearing any panties.
It's Friday, Cloth Off?
NY Post: Britney Spears allegedly 'amped' on caffeine: 'Keep knives away from her' (ah yes, the infamous caffeine induced suicidal ideation, totally normal)
NY Post: My roommate borrowed my vibrator — it was so 'crazy' I had to move out (ladies, , , , do you share vibrators with each other?)
NY Post: Couple slammed for ice cream licking stunt: 'What is wrong with people?' (nobody likes lickers)
NY Post:
Leave it to the fucking Italians to put a titanic-tailed-tuchus on a statue. . .
PLUS: Abby Shapiro . . . . hasn't posted on Instagram for the past five weeks, but she did give a speech at YAF!
We love you, Abby.
Very Important Meme of the Week
So this meme might not resonate with everyone, but as someone who makes memes and posts ribald content on Twitter, it struck a chord with me.
I do wonder what my dad will say when he stumbles upon Cloth Off Friday one day. I would suspect that he would laugh, but be very, very perplexed at what I've built here.
10/10, would text "did u post this? what is wrong wit u?".
Other Important News
Donald Trump: did a Wednesday night town hall with Kaitlin Collins on CNN for some reason.
A few thoughts on the Trump town hall.
Trump has not lost his fastball. The man remains one of the most entertaining humans on planet earth. I never knew that someone saying the word "vagina" could be considered a type of comedic performance art, but the way Trump enunciates "vagina" might be the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life. Doubly so when you consider the context in which it was used.
Trump said some good things.
Trump said some outrageous things.
Kaitlin Collins asked him a lot of questions about 2020 and 2021. I wish Trump didn't spend so much time talking about 2020 and 2021. I think we need to move on.
I don't think Trump assuaged the concerns of independents of women voters have about female voters last night. I know we all got a kick out of seeing Trump call Kaitlin Collins a "nasty woman", but he needs more than just Trump loyalists to win in 2024.
It would be nice to see Trump provide some evidence that he recognizes that he needs present something different in order to win over some new voters.
Tucker Carlson: is coming to Twitter.
Barstool: The Media Freakout Over Tucker Carlson Moving His Show to Twitter is Proof the Information Landscape Has Changed Forever (Jerry Thornton at Barstool is very underappreciated)
George Santos: is a fucking clown, but he does have a point here:
Fox News: FBI ignores House Oversight subpoena, doesn't share document alleging 'criminal scheme' involving Biden (the GOP, probably: "Aww shucks, well we tried")
NY Post: How the Biden family used shell companies to enrich themselves: Oversight committee (Not holding my breath that any of this leads anywhere. Joe Biden could shower with his daughter in the middle of Fifth Avenue and the media wouldn't blink an eye.)
Title 42: expired yesterday.
Elections have consequences. . .
NY Post: Widow who wrote grief book after husband died charged with his murder (This is true wh*te wom*n shit right here. . . )
Daily Wire: Jury Finds Trump Liable For Battery On E. Jean Carroll, Defamation (this verdict made absolutely zero sense)
National Review: Biden Is Incapable of Resisting the Left (Cooke is a supremely talented writer, but there are only so many times one can state the obvious)
National Review: Manchin to Block All Biden EPA Nominees over Proposed Emissions Rules on Power Plants (Manchin will vote for all of them and then do an interview on Fox News where he shares his frustration that the Biden Admin didn't make good on a promise they made to him and how "got dang angry" he is at them)
The Washington Free Beacon: Biden Campaign ‘Coordinated’ with Ex-CIA Official to Shop Hunter Biden Letter, House Report Says (from the law offices of No, Shit & Sherlock)
The Blaze: 'Very f***ing worried': Democrats are panicking over fears that Trump could beat Biden in 2024 (they're still making him the center of the political universe, so I doubt this is true)
Zero Hedge: Disney Tumbles Below $100 After Paying Subs Slide Following Sharp Price Increase (so the news wasn't ALL bad this week)
Diogenes' Middle Finger: Grievance Politics Is Destroying Civilized Society
Animal Magnetism: ANIMAL’S HUMP DAY NEWS
The Other McCain: NY Times Publishes Human-Interest Feature About Infamous Fraudster; Rule 5 Sunday: Late Night With Bri Teresi
The Most Libtarded Thing You'll See This Week:
Yep, racism.
Important News, BUT Sports
The Chicago Blackhawks: are back, baby.
Can't lie. . . this is a pretty damn good bear fight.
Barstool: LeBron Tries To Fire Back At Steve Kerr, Claims He's Never Played On A Team That Flops (LeBron ruined the NBA and is a notorious flopper)
Barstool: The Bengals Will Face The Chiefs At Arrowhead On New Year's Eve (it will be a must-watch event)
Oh boo fucking hoo, Jordan Love. Do you know why the Packers re-signed Rodgers in 2022? Because Jordan Love fucking sucks and they recognized that watching him miss targets by 5 feet. The Packers reign of QB excellence must end. This fan base has been so spoiled and they deserve all the mediocrity coming their way. I swear, if this kid turns out to be anything better than say a Jared Goff, I am going to commit seppuku.
Are you happy now, trolls?
BSO: Olivia Dunne And Katie Sigmond Show Off Tag Team Booty Photos From Miami F1 (BSO gets very literal with their headlines)
BSO: Britney Spears Shows Off Massive Cleavage And Booty In Thong Photos (see what I mean?)
I don't know what show Joy is on, but. . . that does appear to be an accurate headline.
TotalProSports: Former NBA Player And ESPN Analyst Claims Network Would Fire Him If He Talked ‘Hood’ (I'm pretty sure they'd fire me if I talked like I do on this blog. Such oppression!)
Paige Spiranac: has tips to help the ladies with "tig ol biddies" with their golf swing.
This is what heroism looks like.
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